Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/19/2008, 4:23 pm |
- Sounds like a good plan Judith. msg
Posted by Sandy S on 4/22/2008, 8:34 am, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
Just take care and be careful! Good luck and keep us posted.
There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat. - Tay Hohoff - She mentioned your kitchen renovations....msg
Posted by Ann on 4/20/2008, 9:52 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
She may have thought you should have spent the money on helping her with her cats.At this point,anything that you say or do will probably antagonize her.No one can guess whats in her mind so be careful.
But for the grace of God and some good drugs,I could have gone over the edge to,so I cant help but feel sorry for her. - My post just below yours explains (I think) that "thinking". (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/21/2008, 9:57 am, in reply to "She mentioned your kitchen renovations....msg"
It has to do with not storing an igloo because I had supplies in the garage and no room.
You're right in that nothing I say will make an impact. She fixates on people and, putting this mildly, lacks anger management skills. I've seen her do it again and again. Once she got into an altercation with someone driving a car when she had blocked traffic on a street to pick up a dead raccoon or opossum. She wound up with a broken finger, but that was an exception. For the most part, she's all mouth. - Believe it or not, I connected some of the dots from Karen's bizarre statements. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:35 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
A few years back, when the Health Dept. came by the diner and told the owner to get rid of the shelters, Karen and I put one of the shelters, a medium-size insulated igloo, into my van. I had no place to store it as my garage was filled with materials for my bathroom (not kitchen) renovation and I had to get a storage unit to put what was in the garage somewhere. I ultimately gave the igloo to a neighbor of a friend of mine who was caring for a feral colony behind a convenience store and didn't have a shelter.
Many months later, Karen called me and said she'd found a rescue to take the shelter. I told her the shelter was long gone and what I'd done with it. She was furious, said she thought I was going to store it in my garage, which is when I told her it was full with renovation supplies. She hung up on me and that was the last time I had any contact with her until the other day.
Thus, all those cats who died horrible deaths (in her mind) were because I didn't store and give her the shelter because "my kitchen was being renovated."
I still have no clue about "my car" causing anything, especially in light of the fact that it hasn't been my car for four years. - Personally, I think if she's wacky enough to be a threat, those things she's asking for
Posted by Crinn on 4/20/2008, 1:48 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
are not going to be a dealbreaker. If you give them to her, she'll find another demand or way to harrass you. I wouldn't waste time and energy on looking for them, because finding them is not going to make her go away. I think police involvement is appropriate, and if she keeps on the way she's going, she's going to get committed for psychiatric evaluation -- which would be a good thing. I honestly think that she's not a physical danger to you, although having someone like that pursuing you could be extremely upsetting. I'll bet she's doing this or has done this to others, so something really needs to be done about her. - Deep down, I don't think she's a physical danger to me either. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:30 pm, in reply to "Personally, I think if she's wacky enough to be a threat, those things she's asking for"
Which isn't to say that I'm not watching my back and taking precautions. Karen has always been a blustering bully, filled with rage and very righteous with strong paranoid tendencies. She definitely needs psychiatric evaluation but I haven't a clue how one would go about doing that. She lives on state medical disability, so perhaps an attorney would know how to get through that system.
I also need to find out how the other harassment case was finally deposed (indicating that she has, indeed, done this to others) and if she was legally warned away from the person who filed the suit, etc. With all her hatred of this man (she believed he was killing cats and filed an animal cruelty suit against him with the NJ SPCA), as far as I know, xhe didn't do anything except harass and pursue legal recourse.
- Please be careful, Judith
Posted by Pammers (pammers) on 4/20/2008, 1:36 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
With 'crazy' people, things are seldom as they seem. It's unlikely that this is as cut and dry as her simply wanting the items returned. I'm afraid she's using the items as a way to reestablish contact with you, and can't help but worry what her real agenda is. Hopefully the warnings not to contact you again will be enough to keep her away, but please watch yourself, just in case.
- She will not be reestablishing contact with me...(msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:24 pm, in reply to "Please be careful, Judith"
after I return her doll and plates. Here is some information I got off a website of a NJ attorney about civil restraining orders. If she persists with contact after this one incident, I will have to pursue legal recourse. I don't believe fling a complaint and having it heard in municipal court will result in a civil harassment restraining order. But, with regard to the latter, it has to be done than one incident. (See below.) Another reason I don't want to file the complaint and have it end up in court is that it will greatly prolong her being a factor in my life and I would have to see her in court.
Elements of Civil Harassment
The elements of civil harassment vary by state. However, the elements are similar in all states. In California, a person may file a civil harassment complaint if:
(1) the conduct of the person against whom the complaint is filed (the "defendant") is intentional;
(2) the defendant has done a series of acts (more than one act) that seriously alarms, annoys, or harasses the person filing the complaint (the "complainant");
(3) the complainant has suffered significant emotional distress; and
(4) the defendant's conduct is unjustified and is not protected by law.
Restraining Orders
If the complainant proves that the defendants has engaged in civil harassment, a court may issue a restraining order. The order may prohibit the defendant from:
(1) contacting the complainant in any way;
(2) engaging in further harassment of the complainant; and
(3) coming within close physical proximity of the complainant.
The order may also protect members of the complainant's family and persons who live with the complainant.
- Just please stay out of her way! msg
Posted by mag (magnolia) on 4/20/2008, 12:37 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
She sounds dangerous in her present state. - Good Luck Judith.....Hugs.....nm
Posted by Viv on 4/20/2008, 11:10 am, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
o
"A meow massages the heart." - I like the idea of having someone else hand over the stuff. (msg)
Posted by Andrea on 4/20/2008, 10:44 am, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
I don't know that you need to hire a P.I. to do it, though - that sounds pricey. Would a process server be cheaper? I think they charge a flat amount, and from what I recall it's fairly cheap. (We were going to serve papers on Greg's mother at one point. She was a looneytune. But that's another story!)
Why haven't you gotten your bail money back? Isn't the purpose of posting bail to make sure the person doesn't leave town before the case is disposed? If it's over, then you should have gotten your $$ back, minus whatever the bondsman charges. I think that's how it works, anyway! When I was arrested shortly after Greg's death (for driving infractions, not that I'm a criminal!) they made me post bail. They were nice about it, asked me what cash I had with me and accepted that (I think it was $50). Anyway, as soon as the judge had thrown out all the charges (bless his heart!) I got my bail $$ back the next day. - I know this one
Posted by Pammers (pammers) on 4/20/2008, 1:47 pm, in reply to "I like the idea of having someone else hand over the stuff. (msg)"
Courts usually accept 10% of the total bail amount, refundable when the proceeding is complete. Depending on the circumstances, the court may want the entire bail or an assurity, which is a guarantee that the money is available in the event that the defendent does not appear.
A bail agent acts as a surity agent. He accepts the 10% when the court won't, and he puts up the entire bail. When the proceedings conclude, the bail agent keeps the 10% as payment.
From what Judith has said, the court did not inform her that she could have paid the 10% directly to them (refundable), so she used a bail bondsman (non-refundable).
It's amazing what you can learn when you marry the wrong guy. - You are correct. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:15 pm, in reply to "I know this one"
I was never informed by the court when the case was being heard but always got a letter from the bail bond company which always started "the bond you signed as surety for..."
I never asked the court about the bond. I got called around 8:30 PM by Karen, went to the police dept. she thought he was being taken to; found out from them that she wasn't coming there but had been brought to the county jail; and they gave me some bail bond company information.
- Ahhh, so her $500 bail was actually $5000 bail? Geeze. (msg)
Posted by Andrea on 4/20/2008, 3:12 pm, in reply to "I know this one"
I'm sorry you knew the answer to this one!
How are you doing?
((((( hugs )))))) for you and a huge kiss for my darling Baby Ashley! - Yup. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:39 pm, in reply to "Ahhh, so her $500 bail was actually $5000 bail? Geeze. (msg)"
I told Karen after I posted the $500 that she better be showing up for all her future court apperances as with each violation of the same charge, the bail doubles and I wasn't bailing her out again to the tune of $1,000. - I'm doing better
Posted by Pammers (pammers) on 4/20/2008, 3:32 pm, in reply to "Ahhh, so her $500 bail was actually $5000 bail? Geeze. (msg)"
Kitler is improving by leaps and bounds, literally, so I'm very happy about that. The knowledge that I can soon bring him home also makes me very happy. 
I'm going to have a lot of work ahead of me, trying to get all these guys in to see the vet in a very short amount of time, but with three carriers and my daughter's help, it'll be worth it.
I've made my absolute, final, no going back decision about what I hope to do and am working on a post. I feel like I've turned this board into "Pammers' House of Cats". - Pammers House of Foof is a beloved person and place here. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/20/2008, 3:46 pm, in reply to "I'm doing better"
When anyone is in crisis, the board should be turned into their information and support center. So glad to hear Kitler is improving. That is great news. - Absolutely. I've monopolized these boards on occasion, and am glad to see the wealth of information
Posted by Andrea on 4/20/2008, 4:25 pm, in reply to "Pammers House of Foof is a beloved person and place here. (msg) "
and support you're receiving.
More ((( hugs ))) just because!
Andrea - sounds like a good plan
Posted by bendy kitty (Bendy Kitty) on 4/19/2008, 8:20 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
good way to return things & keep her at a distance. I really hope this does the trick and she leaves you alone!
headbonks and purrrs
bendy
meet the crew here at www.alittletlc.com - Oh Judith, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. You are always there to help everyone and
Posted by Kandy on 4/19/2008, 4:43 pm, in reply to "I filed the harassment police report. (msg) "
to get what is happening to you is so unfair and so mean. I think you are doing the right thing by having someone else meeting her. Make sure they have a reciept that she will have to sign in order to get these things.
She is one crazy lady, that is for sure. I just hope she leaves you along after this but crazy people don't understand or want to understand right from wrong.
Hugs to you and prayers for your safety.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain - You've hit the nail on the head. (msg)
Posted by Judith (Judith) on 4/19/2008, 5:35 pm, in reply to "Oh Judith, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. You are always there to help everyone and "
If I were dealing with displaced anger being used as a tool to extort some things given to me, that would be one thing. But I think I'm dealing with someone who has gone totally round the bend. The police noticed that I hadn't had any contact in nearly two years then -- bam! Normal people don't do things like this, nor say the bizarre kinds of thing she did.
I just don't want her fixated on me for any reason which is why I'm going to give her her stuff back (not that I ever wanted it) and have someone tell her it would be in her best interests if she never contacted me again.
I should have cut off contact with her years ago. The only reasons I didn't was because she would show up at the diner and I had to feed the cats, and because I was always concerned about her cats and their care.
I have a feeling that she was waiting to slam me after her court case was over so that I couldn't, in some way, revoke (or whatever the word is) the bail I put up. If that's the case, it indicates her anger has been fomenting for quite a while and that she is cognizant enough to be that aware of my having some power over her as long as the court case was going on.
- She has taken a serious turn for the worst...msg
Posted by Auntie Debbie on 4/20/2008, 9:58 am, in reply to "You've hit the nail on the head. (msg) "
Been a while since I've checked this board and seems I've been missing some stuff! I'm so sorry she's creeped back into you life Judith. I remember your previous posts about her and how much you did for her.
Sounds like you've got a good handle already on how you need to handle this. Definitely let the cops know what's going on as it goes on and keep records of everything dating and timing everything, no matter how small it may seem at the time.
I wonder if a PI could investigate the neighborhood and/or people she has contact with and come up with enough evidence that she's a total nut job and maybe should be comitted or get care. Maybe a couple of happy pills a day could get her back into reality, even just for her own sake. If that can't be done, then keep going for that restraining order if possible. But that is only a piece of paper, bad guys don't always play by the rules.Ironic thing is that there's not much the cops can really do to protect you is there, and here I am, at risk of doing jail time for feeding wildlife! I really can't imagine where our society is heading.
I hope she will go away and leave you alone. I really am so sorry she's resurfaced. Geez, you've done so much for her. - Prayers that she turns her anger elsewhere nm
Posted by sweeney on 4/19/2008, 8:49 pm, in reply to "You've hit the nail on the head. (msg) "
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