[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH on 8/16/2007, 11:55 am, in reply to "Re: Dear Marvin, and Lori" It has been some time since I was on here. I have just gone another round with a hughely sad loss. It's been 2 years and 2 months since my Richard was called home to God. At first the lonliness was unbearable, the silence deafening and the pain inside was that of having part of my body ripped away and it left me with a huge gaping hole. The hole is never filled up again to the top but you can learn to fill it with some things you like to do. I love to read, watch Law and Order. Take care of my son and our dog. I have some good friends who still let me feel sorry when it hits me.
Hello,
Those days will get better but to this day they have not gone fully away.
My husband and I were married for 18 years. In my heart it's now 20 years. Richard was the nicest man you could ever hope for. In spite of all my " bad times" he was there for me.. He passed quite suddenly and was gone. You do learn to live with the pain although it is not easy. I started bu doing journal writing, curling up on the couch with my son(who was 9 at the time). We watched movies. Then when the house would seem to close in on me we would go out to a movie or something to just try and live a little.
I never ever thought I would be in this position but I believe that God needed Richard for something so important and that I have to stay here till my day comes.
I pray a lot also.. I used to ask God to just get me through till noon time, then at noon I would pray that I would make it to closing time here at work.
It is a painful time in life and grief cannot be rushed or squelced.. It will come back. I still have bad days when my heart fills the loss. So I cry and hug h is photo and ask Richard and God to give me the strenght I need.
Do you work at all, You need to find some things that will make you somewhat happy.Like for Judith it's playing card.
I'm still standing after 2 years and 2 months but it has been a huge learning curve. I did it so you also can too
Debbie
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