[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith on 8/21/2007, 4:19 pm, in reply to "Lost my wife" I have been reading all your responses, and it warms my heart that we are still all coming together to share our battles, our hurts, our ways of healing, our memories of our loved ones. I have been talking with Debbie on my home email, and I must tell you, I look forward to hearing from her. It always seems that she writes to me when I need her most. This path we are on, is so hard. There really is only one consolation, and that is we are still here to remember how happy we were with our loved ones. Some memories bring back an ache and longing for them that hurts so much, all we can do is cry, sob, wail, and just wish we too were dead. But we are all here to remember. Outlets are so important. Renewed friendships also. Families try to be supportive, but they don't get it, unless they have suffered as we have. Debbie is right, I do have my cards to keep me going. These friends call me for cards frequently. It MAKES me go out. Sitting around the house is depressing at times. I hadn't touched "Our" bedroom for 2 years. My sister recently came to visit and I had to clean that room. It was the hardest thing I had to do so far. Now, all of Roy's things are at St. VIncent's. It was like saying good bye to him a second time. But I couldn't keep his new clothing to myself. I had to share it with those more unfortunate than I. Roy blessed me. Roy is still with me. I can say, he gave me the world I was missing out on. If it hadn't been for Roy, I'd still be at home, moping and feeling so alone. Now I am alone, but I have memories of my fairy tale wedding that I never dreamed would ever come true. I have memories of a wonderful man calling me beautiful and teasing me, and stroking my hair, how beautiful he thought my smile was. All of these, get me through this moment in time. My heart aches for him, always. Some nights I still cry myself to sleep. But, when I awaken, I know, Roy is in my heart and wants me to be happy. He so loved my smile, that I try very hard to smile at least once or twice a day. I know he watches over me. So, Marvin, Lori, Debbie, remember through your sore, aching heart, the special endearing moments you had to share with your beloved ones. Lovingly,
Marvin, Lori, Debbie,
Always in my heart and prayers, dear friends,
Judith
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