[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith I find family gatherings, torture. Everyone is coupled, has children, and is celebrating sharing gifts with their spouses, and I no longer have one. Family reunions, birthdays, just aren't the same. When I was a teenager I used to literally HATE New Years, because I'd have to wait to get a hug and kiss from my mom and dad til after they had their New Year embrace, and the same with EVERY OTHER COUPLE. After my sisters were married, it was the same thing. They had their husbands to share New Years with, and me, still alone. Then I met the man of my life. And I had 1 New Years with him to hold, to hug, to kiss. And then he was gone. I am not looking forward to New Years alone again. Our anniversary is in 1 week, and I am soooo anxious. I broke down this morning. I was soo exhausted from the busy shift I had, I had no strength left, and I lost it! Literally, crying til I couldn't breath, my heart felt like it would come of out my chest from the pain, the emptiness, the loneliness, I cried so hard, gave myself a migraine. Kerri, I hadn't cried like that since the first and second months after his death. So, I know, that there have been 'better' days. But, when these hit, they hit hard. Valentines last year, was lets just say, I wanted to dig a hole, crawl into it and let the dirt fall overtop me. I recognize your pain and agony. For this I am truly sorry that you are going through what I feel in my heart, is torture. Feel my arms holding you, hugging you,and my comforting shoulder to cry on. My prayers, thoughts, and love sent to you, that you find a little peace and that your heart heals a little more each day. Lovingly,
on 9/25/2007, 11:18 pm, in reply to "can't take it anymore"
Dear Kerri,
Judith
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