[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith Hugs from me to you. Our anniversary is in 4 days, and I am losing it. Crying at work, crying at home, crying on the phone while talking with my mother, crying right this moment. I miss him so much, his smile, his jokes, his smell, his love, him.... I miss HIM... When I do get to see him in my dreams, they are cruel dreams... in my dreams, he is either in hiding and only his mother knows where he is, or he is coming home from wherever and I need to go pick him up, but I just end up driving and driving, and driving, til I wake up... Why does my brain do this?????????????????????? I can only turn to our wedding albums and our wedding dvds now, and his phone message to hear his voice. I packed away all of his things and sent them to St. Vincent's... I have only a few things left of him. I thought if I put his things away, it wouldn't hurt so much. I was wrong. All the autumn colours are changing, and for our last anniversary together, we went out on a country drive. On the last cd he burned, he recorded thank god I'm a country boy his wallpaper on his laptop was one of the country roads we travelled with the trees coloured along the way and coloured leaves on the road... I always loved autumn.. my favourite time of year.. now my heart cries and yearns to see those colours so vibrant, all I see is dull and brown... He gave us our fairy tale wedding with vibrant colours, and now he lives no longer to share them with me. I try to look beyond the 'dead leaves', and see the sun sets and the pink skies Roy has painted for me, but its very hard right now, this week, these last few days. Thank you for responding to my heartfelt cry for help... I'm sorry if I went on and on and on... I would love to hear your beautiful story. Lovingly,
on 10/5/2007, 10:56 am, in reply to "Re: Cry"
Dearest Marla,
I know he can't come back. I know he is pain-free, and free-spirited, and his soul is truely happy,
Judith
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