[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH on 10/19/2007, 10:21 am, in reply to "Please tell me it gets better"
Jill,
Things will improve for you but not for quite awhile yet. Grieving is one of the hardest things to go through. I too am the fixer of things in my family but when I lost my beloved husband of 18 years I thought my heart had been ripped out of my entire body along with my soul. All I could feel like is my body had a huge gaping hole in it.
I have passed the 2 year mark now and although I miss him with my entire being and still love him with all my heart I am now able to get up and face each day with the loss but am no longer under that unbearable pain.
You will find that unless someone has been through the kind of loss you are dealing with they just do not understand what you are going through. They may tell you in a year that you now have to move on or get on with your life. Don't be angry with them. They are so innocent that they just can't imagine at this time what you are dealing with.
I ended up going to a grief therapist along with our 9 year old son and it did both of us a world of good. We were in separate sessions since our loss was so different although it was for the same person.
I also bought a grief journal book at a book store and it's called Angel Catcher. It leads you through the questions it wants you to answer. I also started a personal journal of memories and stories to remind me of our time together. And in there I also write letters to my husband on things that are going on here. It does help.
Be good to yourself but don't think you can hide from going through this. It will catch up with you. Take it one hour at a time. That's how I began again. Then gradually it got to 1/2 a day at a time. It's a painful journey but in the end you realize you can still love them and have them part of your life even though they are gone from your eyes. I talk to him every day and keep him close to my heart.
I wish you lots of beautiful memories when the rain and clouds clear for you. He will be there in your heart waiting
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