[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH on 10/23/2007, 7:46 am, in reply to "Re: Please tell me it gets better" I found working quite beneficial not just for the monetary value but for the routine also. Then at night I would sit down a few minutes and write about my pain in my journal or tell him things I just felt like saying. I am so sorry that you had to enter this horrible club of grief and loss but I guess there's no one that will ever escape being in it somehow or another.
Jill, you go right ahead and feel free to ramble especially here on this site. Although we are all in different stages the loss and pain remain the same. The hurt is what I always felt was like having your very soul, heart and skin ripped from your body and sent way without benefit of any anesthesia.
Faking being normal is exactly what I felt I was doing. Then too when people treated me normally I would get angry and upset thinking they forgot what I was going through. It's such a process of minute by minute,day by day and no minutes or days are the same.
I function now but still I carry him with me because I feel to let go will be to really lose him and I never want that. I loved my husband with all my heart. He was the best anyone could ask for. He had to be he accepted me with all my faults, shortcomings, temper and all but still loved me anyway. He made me feel like there wasn't anything I couldn't accomplish with him to cheer me on. But I am learing that the foundation we started on hasn't gone away. He is still here somewhere guiding me to when my day comes to be with God and him.
Keep in touch.. I am hear to listen and offer any support that I can.
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