[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith on 11/15/2007, 12:23 am, in reply to "no one seems to understand"
Dear Jonathan,
I think someone needs to take this phrase:
"It will get easier, and you will get through this" and shred it, tear it up, or ban it from the english language.
My mother used it several times to me, and even though I know she meant well, she didn't get it. And that was not consoling! Not one bit. My ex-best girlfriend suggested I take a glass of wine to help me sleep after my husband died, note the term EX...
Liquour does not help you deal with your pains, grief, and sorrows. It merely hides it away, and as Sue suggested, it allows for it to build up and build up til you explode and then you just can't get back.
From itsdetailed, he has come from a hectic path of drugs and booze to hide his emotions and feelings, and heed his words of help and comfort.
Yes, GRIEF hurts, its painful, its gut wrenching, it makes you throw up, it makes you cry til you start choking, it makes you dream of stabbing yourself in the heart, it makes you see flashes of yourself driving off an overpass just to be with the one you loved most on this earth. But... ask yourself this question... would your partner wish you to hurt yourself?
If the only thing that gets you through one day, is remembering how much your partner loved living, then, use THAT, instead of drink, to help you put one foot in front of the other.
I don't want to sound judgemental here, a drink once in a while may help to give you a feeling of calm, but you still need to face with the fact that HE'S GONE.
He's gone. He's in Heaven, and you are left here alone. Remembering how it was with him, and not wanting to go on without him.
I remember that hurt. That pain. There aren't any comforting words to say to help you deal. Only that you are not alone. We are all here, suffering with you. Embracing your triumphs for making it another day, and applauding your efforts for making it through tomorrow.
I hold out my arms to hold you and hug you. You can cry on my shoulder, or I can let you throw anything you need to to just let out your anger. Its okay to be mad. Get mad! Cry! Scream! Wail! Tell him I need you back!
Then, when you get your anger out, and you let your soul cry, you'll hear him in your heart and in your head. He hasn't left you, he's just near you in another way. You will take him with you wherever you go.
All my love, and I will hold you in my prayers along with your special beloved that God continues to carry you through this very difficult path,
Lovingly,
Judith
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