[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Sheryl on 11/18/2007, 9:57 am, in reply to "losing my dad"
I am sorry to hear about your father and the pain you are going through. Watching a loved one suffer is not an easy thing to be involved with. Although, you sound like you have been there for your Dad, as a great support.
Now, you need a support system and that is what you are trying to do - take of yourself too! This is not always an easy thing to do either. My 45 years old husband passed away less than four months ago from cancer. His mets had also spread to his brain (not the primary like your fathers). He went through a lot after giving it a fight, like your loved one.
It may be helpful for you to try to locate and attend a support group in your local area. It can help to talk about your pain - getting it out will help keep you healthy, emotionally and physically. Keep in touch with your father and take some pictures of the two of you. Even though he will not look like he did in happier times, you will treasure the pictures of him at every time in his life. I hope that you will attempt to talk to him about what your relationship has meant to you - even if he doesn't want to, or his mind doesn't seem like it is clear enough. He may surprise you. My husband was quiet and you can respect that too by just being with him.
Is he using hospice? They often have support groups too. My husband was not using hospice, but I was thinking about it to use soon. It was a difficult decision, especially for the kids. To do it over again, I would have brought them on board for his last month.
Please do find a support group for yourself. -- Take care as much as possible.
Sheryl
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