[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH on 1/16/2008, 7:32 am, in reply to "Re : Dear debbie"
Good Morning,
I am so sorry that today is going to be a painful day for you. How I remember only too well that terrible gut wrenching hurt.
I'm trying to remember what my son and I did on the first month anniversary.
I believe that we made my husband's favorite supper then we lit a candle in his honor and placed in at his sport at the kitchen table.
Then we both shared our favorite memory of him together. We cried while doing this but you do need to get the tears out.
Try to do something in his honor. We did not got the cemetary/grave site that day either. We do go often but that day I wanted us to celebrate our love for him to let him know that although we are all apart in this life we love him unconditionally forever.
My heart does break for you for the road is hard, long, lonely and painful. The first year is the absolute worst. The 2nd year is better execpt for the painful days, Birthday, Holidays, and any other special days you shared.
I am up to 2 1/2 years now and feel that I can function better and I carry him with me wherever I go for he is in my heart.
One strange thing I did that I found to be helpful for whatever reason. I went to a store and found a stuffed animal that remimded me of how strong our love was, how strong he was back to being now(he was disabeled and unable to walk any longer-but still doing well)and that he could walk, run, jump and do whatever he needed to now.
Plus we three had gone to see the Disney play "The Lion King" since the three of us loved that movie too. I picked up a lion and named him Richard, after my husband.
So, we take Richard wherever we go if we are going to be gone from home for an overnight.
It may sound weird and strange but it did work. At night I put Richard the Lion on his side of the bed on his pillows and started sleeping better.
Our son picked out a tiger and named him DAD. So we all do whatever we can to deal with the hurt and pain of grief.
Trust me it won't always be as bad as it is right now and you will not forget him or stop caring for him.
If I could make it this far I know you can too.I never imagined that I could but it's the people on here who have given me some of their strength to help me realize. No I'm not crazy, no I'm not helpless and hopeless I am just grieving a horrible loss of pure love.
Stay strong I'll be pulling for you
Debbie
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