[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith on 2/7/2008, 1:56 am, in reply to "judith"
I remember when I had been crying for 4 days straight, hadn't slept but maybe 2 hours, would fall on my knees begging for my Roy to be here with me, to return, it couldn't be that he was gone so soon....
The hurt and pain my heart endured without him, those months were so hard...
The holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and special days without him, I didn't think I would make it... couldn't breath in some instances, would start choking and crying all over again...
But, I made it through.. I don't know how.. but I made it through, and you will also Char...
Just coming on here and sharing your story is a very good start... I started writing alot of poetry, and for my first Christmas without Roy, I made a momento of poems, of letters, of thanks yous, of wishes I had... and put them together in a portfolio... I shared it with my family, his family, and my closest friends...
It helped me to put things together to get it out into the open, how much hurt I had, and how i felt so lonely, and how much I would depend on my family and friends to just understand...
Of course, they couldn't... you have to move on they would say to me.... when are you going to let him go? Don't cry, Roy wouldn't want to see you crying, I don't know how to console you.....................
Nobody understood what I was going through... not a soul... until I came here. Sari had told me to start journalling, it helped a little bit... but I found just telling our love story, the last moments I got to spend with my beloved honey, the memories I hold onto with all my heart, and the time I had that I now cherish and never will regret...
Char, I hold you now, and I open my arms to just hug you so hard, and to console you. This is not an easy road, you will tumble, and feel like you can't go on... but lean on us, lean on your friends, lean on your family, they will hold you up.
If I could take your pain away, I would. This grieving is not for the weak, and its not fair that it happens to you, or to me, or to Debbie, Jill, or anyone on this planet... But I will send my heartfelt prayers, that God sends His angels to give you ease of mind and healing of your heart.
Your Doyle is also nearby you, Char, he hasn't left you... he is now a spirit able to help you... you only need to tell him how you feel, and you'll feel him. He is taking care of you from Heaven now.
God has him in His arms, and is holding you as well...
All my love sent to you, Char,
Lovingly,
Judith
Responses: