[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith on 2/7/2008, 11:52 pm, in reply to "1 month"
Sheralyn
I am truly sorry for what you are going through right now. It sounds like you are still in shock, maybe? Just going through the motions of daily living, not really believing your father is gone.
It sounds like your father had a rough time, and maybe your mother and he decided to hide it from you.. his struggles, his hardships, his disappointments about the treatments and recurrences... sometimes parents want to do everything they can to protect us, and its not always the right thing to do.
Its okay to be mad... its OKAY!! I hope that you are still able to be with your mother and talk about your father, this will help ease the shock a little bit.
You are sooooo right about the body being just a shell... its not the body we love, but the person. Look to your heart for answers about who he was, and how precious he was to you when you were growing up, before you went your separate ways.
He is still with you, dear Sheralyn, fathers are such huge protectors and when they can't fulfil that duty, they seem to give in... I still believe that both your parents were just thinking of protecting you... and its a shame, because now you have to go through saying goodbye to him in almost a shock way, not even getting a chance to prepare to say good bye. They didn't do it to hurt you, they just tried to keep it from you to save you the hurt which you must now go through.
Sheralyn, I send you my heartfelt wishes that answers come to you and that your heart is opened up to the love you have for your father. Give yourself time, its OKAY to be angry, and oblivious, and in denial, and just ANGRY...
Eventually, the tears will come, and you will remember your father before he became ill...
Those will be the moments you will cherish, once again,
Lovingly,
Judith
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