[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Judith
on 3/2/2008, 12:36 am, in reply to "Re: Dearest Judith"
Hi Debbie,
Hugs for you. I just got back from getting my work visa renewed and I must say, all the songs on the radio, I just kept thinking it was Roy sending me songs... you look beautiful to me, you look beautiful tonight, I saw your face, I wanna come home. So, needless to say, Roy is obviously on my mind. My 2nd anniversary date without my honeybear is on the 7th.
I too will try to make it to church tomorrow. I need to go to a Lenten Mass (I'm also Catholic).
I know Roy is doing everything he's ever wanted to do, and he's probably teaching all those souls in Heaven how to play sheepshead. Man he loved that game. *He's turned me into a sheepshead addict. haha.
I will be working on his date, so I won't be alone. Even though I feel so alone most times. I went to dinner with a friend last night, and it just made me remember how much I loved eating out with my honeybear. The first time we went out, he told me I looked beautiful. I had never been told by any man, or anyone special that I was beautiful. My mother always told me I needed to lose weight.. so I never heard those words before. It just was soooo special.
I fell asleep for the last few hours as he slipped away from my hands, so I will never know if he tried to say anything before his last breaths. I've been dealing with my guilt issues, writing them down on paper, writing about how sorry I was for anything I've done wrong towards him, but in the end, he's in Heaven and he's forgiven me everything, I just need to forgive myself.
I send you my heartfelt prayers that your week goes by relatively painless in the grieving, but I know that won't happen.
Lovingly,
Judith
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