[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by jenny on 3/19/2008, 9:34 pm, in reply to "death of my boyfriend"
i lost the only person who ever knew me and vice versa in october. i have never loved anyone the way i loved him and i have a son left that looks just like him. i find that even though i lve him i cant look at him the same because he is so like him. i spens most my time in the graveyard and when i'm not there he is in my head. wat would we be doing now?wat would we be laughing at?wat would we ne fighting over. he was so full of life and there was never a dull moment in the house wen he was there i have a pain in my chest with the thoughts of getting on with my life without him,i love him and miss him so much,i feel like i have lost everything that i have ever wanted and then i feel guilty cause i know aaron is there and he needs me more than ever but i cant really be there for him because i am so heartbroken myself. i love my baby but i just feel so helpless and i am always hurting,xmas was so hard to get over i just got drunk every night to help me forget. i have no family support and am probably feeling sorry for myself but better out than in right now because nobody knows how i feel. he knew wat i was thinkin and feeling before i did,he just knew everything about me and i him and i felt so safe with him,i have never felt like that with anyone and he was taken too soon,i just keep thinkin if it was a month later i would of said more,or if we knew it was going to happen we would have done things different.we were suppose to go on our first family holiday the next day and the kids were so excited about it.my older son looked up to him so much,they are 7 and5 and i dont know wat to say to them when they ask about him. i am lost and i dont know whats right or wrong i just know my bed is empty and it shouldnt be and i sleep every night with his clothes and get more upset that his smell is gone
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