[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by andrea on 3/20/2008, 11:18 am, in reply to "Re: death of my boyfriend"
you know the one thing that I've learned is that alcohol doesn't help. All it does is bring out stronger emotions. My boyfriend always said that he drank to get rid of his problems. The last 6 months prior to his death he stopped drinking everyday compared to his everyday habit for the past 4 years. We all thought he was just slowing down now and that he was becoming a lot better with his alcohol abuse. I know what you feel and all the years we were together we didn't have children and i wish we did so bad now yet we wanted to be financially stable. My boyfriend sounds a lot like yours he always knew what to say and do before i did and he thought of me before he thought of himself. I've become very religious and there's a lot of things i feel and do still but it is so fresh that i've gotta believe that he was so good here that god needed him elsewhere. He did what he had to do on earth. The only thing now is to live through him so he never dies. My boyfriend taught me so much that i never realized before, he is the reason for who i am today and now after his death i want to live as he, caring, considerate, devoted, helpful, and a forgiver. He loved anyone and everyone with a passion, unconditional including me and if i live for what he stood for i will not only see the world through his eyes but make a difference in those i touch just as he did. His memory will live on through me. Also you talk about the memories you had with him, i know it's corny but i got 2 journals to write in my thoughts and just ended up writing my memories as they come to me so that they will never be forgotten.For me it's therapy and it feels good knowing that we shared so much and no one can take that away from me. You need to be there for your child and i know it's hard. Don't look at him as a resemblence of his father but as the love you both shared. Raise him to be the best as i'm sure he would want.
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