[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH on 6/24/2008, 2:11 pm, in reply to "Re: Dear Debbie, terri, Char, Jill, Kristen, Dorothy, Mary, and all those who are hurting"
I just read your message about the pain you are in. I honestly hate to say this but Judith and I know you are right on track as to how your emotions and feelings are working.
I cried myself sick those first 6 months. I had to drag myself out of bed in the morning and drag myself through the work day.
My heart felt so shattered and broken apart that I thought it would never be whole again. Unfortunately,it has become whole but in a different way.
I can laugh and talk about him without falling in to a deep dark hole.
In the time he has been away, I have lost a very close friend/aunt and then also a very close friend. Each one hurt so much and also brought on some weird emotion like jealously. They were going to see my honey while I was still here waiting.
I keep asking God to bring me along even when I am dragging my feet and I thank him for the exceptional gift of love that he gave me in my husband. I wouldn't have traded the years together for anything. Even though they weren't as long as I wanted they were outstanding.
I am getting to the point where I hate not having someone to enjoy my life with but I am also terrified on that too. I have no idea if that will ever happen but I have a person I could like but who knows. ONly God can tell.
Even if that happens my Richard will alway still be in my heart. But you need to reach out try to connect with friends or people and make a resolution to try to do one more thing every day and it will get better. But don't worry you will love Tony always you just need to get through the grief to get back to your love for him again
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