[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Brandy on 11/14/2008, 12:11 pm, in reply to "Dear Matt"
I am not too familiar with this website, I was actually looking up inspirational quotes and this came up wich I am glad it did. I just read through a couple of the messages and the responses which I really liked. I think a support system like this will help me out a lot. I also lost someone very very special to me, my boyfriend. He was my best friend only person I knew I could really trust and someone I knew will always be there for me. It has now been two months since and it still feels like it was yesterday morning when I received a call from his cousin teling me that he "was gone." I didn't know what to think feel or even do my initial thought was that they were joking, but why would they joke about such a thing?! So many questions and thought arose; but he wasn't even suppose to go to TJ, but if we would of stuck to our original plans we would of gone to dinner and he would of never left, why did I let him go, I could of done so much more to keep him from going, but I didn't even say this or that, we ended on a bad note, how, why THEY WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSE TO GO!!.... So many questions and no answers. The hardest thing is that we didn't just loose him we lost four great guys; my boyfriend, his cousin, and two friends. It was a saturday night, four young guys in TJ and ofcourse they want to have fun they are getting ready to go out but then a friend calls and asks them for a ride after some begging to please give him a ride they go and get him, on their way back another car cuts them of and they loose control one thing led to the other and four out of five passengers pass away. This is something I never imagined going through, never thought I'd loose him like this, he was my everything only person I could really talk to, now I feel as if i will never find anyone like him like if no one will ever truly love me like he did. What can I do now. Seems as if the hardest I try to keep myself busy the more I think of him. There was still so much to do together. What am I to do without him; my birthday, his birthda, our anniversaries, christmas, thanksgiving, new years, valentines day! I now he is now in a better place and he is now watching over me but as much as I tell this to myself it doesn't fix the fact that he is not here with me, i won't be able to feel him holding me in his arms any more, him waking me up everymorning, putting me to sleep at night, there for me when I needed him the most, here to argue about the dumbest little things then laugh at ourselves for doing so. He always did say we were on a rollercoaster ride and now I think our ride has come to an end.
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