[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by cindy
on 3/23/2009, 9:17 pm, in reply to "crushed"
john, first let me say i,sorry. having said that i know how rediculous it sounds but by now you know that people do truly mean it and are hoping it will help to let you know they do care and only wish it will help.it helped me to hear it because it showed me people really did care about me and wanted to help me feel better in any small way they could. i diddnt realize till then how many people did love me and i wasnt aware of it. i also seemed to know that i really did need to lean on people because i felt devistated and had never felt this way before and had been to independant to think anyone else could help me. looking back, i wish i had let them help more. it makes them feel better to make you feel better. i would also like to say the hardest thing to beleive, was that i could survive. a friend told me that as time went by, i would begin to laugh a little more and cry a little less. of course i didnt beleive this but have now found it to be true. another friend told me to try to keep busy and go back to work and i thought he was insane. i only went back because i had to but to my surprise i found one day as i was doing something mundane, that my pain had left me for awhile. i was shocked and realized that sometimes distraction worked. to my amazement. i guess the human brain can do funny things somehow maybe to help us survive. i dont want to try to tell you what its like cause i know i cant, as i have been thru this but i would tell you that i realized a couple things i didnt know. i was tougher than i thought. that no matter how crazy my thoughts seemed, i was probably not the first to have had what seemed like craziness. i also realized i shouldnt let anyone tell me how or what to think or feel as we are all different.i wish you the best and you are welcome to reply if you care to. this is the first time i have looked on my pc for anything like this. im glad i did. if it helped at all? maybe it will help me also. good luck.
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