[ Post a Response | Angel On My Shoulder ]
Posted by Debbie/NH
on 6/15/2009, 3:16 pm, in reply to "My Mom"
Linda,
I totally understand what you are going through.
My husband passed away 4 years ago and I am still grieving for him in my own way.
But I have recently been in your shoe's also. My sister and I have had to make that decision also in the past year to move our mom to a long term care facility. We both went through the exact same feelings you are having. The guilt that she was there for us growing up and we can't do the same for her. But both of us are now widows, I have a son that is 14 and it's just him and I. Both my sister and I have to work full time and there is just no possible way to do it all and survive. The advance grieving for your mom is right on target to what I went through too.
I am doing better now because we have made it our mission to visit her 3 times a week and we each take turns doing her laundry each week. We bring coffee or something special when we visit and make it as homey as we possibly can. We have things from her home there surrounding her. The facility has our phone numbers to reach us in the event we are needed and that alone has helped us to stay connected and caring for her in the only way we possibly can.
I do feel alone even though I have my son still at home. I know that he is growing up and needing me less and I am going to have to find my way alone for the rest of my life. But it's this site too that has kept me going and the great people you find here.
Stay strong and please reach out to me if I can be of any moral support.
Do what you can for your mom that will make you feel better. Visit often-get her a phone if she can talk to you so you can call her. Keep updated pictures nearby for her. That so helps my mom stay connected.
Hope this has helped you somehow
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