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Posted by Stone Cold on 8/23/2001, 9:07 pm

The camera shows the parking lot where Stone Cold Steve Austin pulls up in a monster truck! He jumps out with his three titles hanging from his left hand, and a cooler of beers from his right. The fans erupt into cheers as Stone Cold storms into the arena.

--WWF Arena--

JR:Wow! Stone Cold is here! Did you see that Paul? Stone Cold Steve Austin, the WWF Champion is here! My God, listen to the fans! They are going crazy! I can't remember the last time I saw the WWF fans react like this!

Paul Heyman:Calm down, JR! Why are these fans cheering?! Last time we saw Austin, he was insulting all of the fans, infact he told the fans that he didn't care about any of them! So why, why, JR, are they cheering for the Rattlesnake? Can you tell me why JR?

JR:Maybe, just maybe the fans can sense that Stone Cold is coming home, that the OLD Stone Cold is gonna return tonight! I have a feeling Austin is going to return to his roots!

JR has no more time to over-react, as he is interrupted by the sound of glass shattering, signalling Stone Cold's entrance theme! The fans jump to their feet when Stone Cold Steve Austin appears on the rampway! He is still holding his titles and the cooler full of beers.

JR:It's Stone Cold! Stone Cold is making his way to the arena! Business is about to pick up folks!!

Paul Heyman:Stone Cold is here JR, and he looks pissed! What does he have to say to the world?

Heyman doesn't have to wait long, as Stone Cold gets immediatly into the ring and snatches the microphone from Howard Finkle.
The whole arena watch on in anticipation as Stone Cold begins to speak.

Stone Cold:Well, it looks like things are gonna be a bit different 'round here now that 'Ol Stone Cold is back! No more Triple H, no more Shane McMahon, none of that crap! The fact of the matter is, Stone Cold Steve Austin is back, and there is gonna be hell to pay from this day forward in the WWF!

I am Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the Tag Team Champion, I am the Intercontinental Champion, I am.....

The World Wrestling Federation Champion! And now that I am back and better than you have ever seen me, ya know what those suit wearing bastards in the back do? Book me in a match with somebody called Rhyno? What the hell is that?! My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the biggest Icon in WWF history and I have to defend, one of my titles, I have to defend my Intercontinental title against a man called Rhyno?
Well, son, that's fine with 'Ol Stone Cold, because I will defend any of these titles against anybody, anyday of the week, and twice on Sundays! And not only will Stone Cold Steve Austin defend these titles, Stone Cold Steve Austin will open up a can of whoopass on anybody who gets in his way!
So Rhyno, on Raw, you will get a first hand beating from Stone Cold Steve Austin, and it will be the very worst day of your life, and thats all I gotta say about that!

It seems that Stone Cold Steve Austin has a busy week ahead of him, because on Smackdown, after beating the crap outta Rhyno, 'Ol Stone Cold gets to defend the WWF title against either X-Pac, Mike Awesome or Kurt Angle. What the hell? Neither of these three men deserve a shot at Stone Cold Steve Austin, let alone a World Title shot! It should be fun to watch Raw to see who emerges victorious, because the man that does, whether it be Kurt Angle, X-Pac or Mike Awesome, the fact remains that the winner will be siging his own Death Warrent!
X-Pac, Awesome or Angle, come Smackdown!, one of you is gonna get a personal reading from the passage Austin 3:16, and ya know what it's gonna say?

AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR ASS!

And that's the bottomline, cos STONE COLD SAID SO!

And with that, Stone Cold's music hits the PA system again, and he guzzles a few beers as the fans cheer wildy. Raw and Smackdown! this week are set to be two very solid events, Will Stone Cold lose two thirds of his gold in one week? Tune into Raw and Smackdown to find out!