Posted by cndy
on 7/3/2009, 4:15 pm, in reply to "My story ... for those who asked"
99.52.161.245
Remarkable story from a remarkable person! God Bless you mt friend!!
Cindy
--Previous Message--
: Ok... to start from the beginning...
:
: I was not a fat child... or teenager... but
: a guy asked me how much I weighed one time
: (about 115 then) and that started my life
: long battle w/ eating disorders of some form
: or another. I found out later he was
: talking about how big my boobs were. I
: stopped eating completely.... for months....
: I don't know how my parents didn't
: realize....looking back at my pics...but I
: was a good liar... and good at faking
: things. Well... at church camp someone told
: on me and they made me eat... after months
: of not eating... I ate and ate and ate...
: and then of course I got sick and threw up
: and still lost weight.... so I realized that
: I could just do that. And I did.... for
: years. When I ate... I went to the bathroom
: and looked in the mirror...saw myself as
: huge HUGE and it would automatically make me
: throw up. I stopped doing it during my
: pregnancies though.... and I didn't do it
: all the time... cuz I didn't have to...just
: if I over ate or wanted to lose. I only
: ever gained weight a few times in my life.
: I gained w/ each pregnancy. I gained when
: they put me through menopause for a while at
: 18. I gained a little after a wreck when I
: was on bed rest. Well. I lost a baby
: before my 3rd child and it really affected
: me... and I didn't lose that 15lbs... then
: got preg. 3 mo later.... didn't lose that
: 60lbs.... then couldn't lose and couldn't
: lose. I finally lost a few lbs while my
: husband was overseas and then I got pregnant
: w/ my 4th. I started cambridge once 2 years
: ago. I stayed on it for a few months...but
: I wasn't as good as I am now. I also got a
: personal trainer. It caused my weight loss
: to stall...but I was definately thinner than
: I was at the same weight w/o a trainer.
: This time I have been great. Not saying I
: don't cheat... I do... but it hasn't been a
: battle most of the time this time. I
: realized that I had no pictures of my family
: and my husband is dying. I don't take pics.
: I decided that no matter what... I was
: going to lose weight... period... even if I
: had to have bariatric surgery (which I was
: already approved for). Then I decided to
: give it a go....for one more month w/
: cambridge... and in that month... if I
: didn't lose enough... I would gain it back
: and just get the surgery. Well... I lost
: 37lbs from May 2nd to June 6th. I had a
: goal of another 30lbs for June and I'm not
: even close...lol... but it doesn't matter
: because I can tell I look better every day.
: I am sticking w/ it ... not getting
: discourage... because I AM GETTING A FAMILY
: PICTURE MADE BEFORE MY HUSBAND DIES!
: Which... God willing he won't... he starts
: experimental treatment in a clinical trial
: on the 13th. But... regardless... I'm
: losing. I was going to add a meal at the
: end of June... or at least think about it...
: but I decided that I was enjoying the
: cambridge... and I'm not going to. If I eat
: (like when we go to New York after his
: treatment) I'm not going to beat myself
: up.... but I sticking w/ my diet. I am
: using this time to plan my diet for the rest
: of my life....when I can eat things that I
: love but aren't good for me...like Mexican
: food...lol. I think it takes finding
: 'something' to motivate you completely.
: When you have been fat so long... your
: confindence is destroyed... so you won't do
: it for yourself... and when you cheat... you
: will beat yourself up... you need another
: goal at first... til you start to get your
: self-worth back. Just a thought. I am
: hoping to be a size 4 before fall. I do
: plan on having a tummy tuck at the end of
: the summer.... 4 c-secs and 6 pregnancies
: have taken their toll on my tummy
: area...lol. I am hoping that I don't have
: to have any others... that my skin will
: bounce back... but who knows... the
: bariatric doc told me if I lost before 35
: it would have.... but probably not now.
:
: Was that what you guys wanted? I hope it
: helps. Any of you can private message me
: your email if you want more details.
:
: Oh... yeah... I didn't exercise this time.
: I intended to start in June but we can't
: afford a gym right now and it storms so much
: that I haven't done it consistantly. BUT...
: I will say that after my weight loss stalled
: in June... I started walking a mile and 1/2
: a day and my weight loss restarted. So... I
: have to really learn to fit the exercise
: into my life. That is my new mission!
:
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