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Posted by TJ
on 1/30/2005, 1:24 am
In Novemeber my bf of 2 and a half years broke up. It was mutual (sort of); I think we both knew it was coming and it was a matter of time beforew one of us had the guts to "break up". I was the one who broke up. It was and is still themost difficult thing I have ever done. I feel as if Ilost my best frind. He is in my thoughts all the time. I have such difficulty dating other people becuae all I want the new guys to be is my old boyfrined. My bfriend and I had a connection/a chemistry........I am so lost without him.The new guy is perfect on papare. Ansolutely perfect. I am afraid that I am pushing him away and will regret it. TMy ex and I are still friends. We went through a two month period where we didn't speak. Then the holidays came. We had dinner and saw a movie. Then we got together to play some tennis. I supposed we are friends. Something got into me the other nght. Iwas on the home phone with him when his cell rang. I heard him pick up and he was kind and pleasnt wiht the voice at the othet end. I jumped to the comclusion it was a girl and my gut was right. Later that night I did something really stupid. I waited at his apartment complex to see when he would get home. He arrived home at 12:45 am - with a girl. The girl walked right in with him. I never saw any lights go on until the end. I saw the blinds move as the lights went of in the bedroom. I know the blinds moving was the girls because they always move when I would try to get to that side of the bed. I saw the blonds move and I assume the lights went out after she found her way to the bed. Just as I thought I was doing better, this had to happen. I do not know what I thought I was looking for. How can he just let someone into his bed so soon. Does he think of me. Did he take the fify pictures down of the two of us that were hanging all over the house? I am devastated. I cannot stop crying. I want to confron him but I do not know how. I need some serious help......
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