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Posted by Heather on 2/14/2005, 9:48 pm
My boyfriend and I had gone out for 4 1/2 years. I'm 23 and he is 31. So he was pretty much my first serious adult relationship. We live about 45 minutes apart, so it was at times difficult to see each other all the time. For the first couple years of our relationship he worked from home so I was able to go to his house all the time during the week and on weekends when I wasnt working and see him (he moved home a little before we met to help with the family business, so he lives at home). As time went by he got a different job and so did I so we mostly saw each other about 2 times a week and also on weekends. In the last year his biggest complaint has been that we didn't see each other enough. And so he would say its not working out and he would try and end it, but we would always talk and get back together. Our relationship has always been very strong and we've gone through so much with each other. Well a week ago I was at his house and he wasnt even acknowledging I was even there. He said he was just tired. So I told him I would see him later and I left. He then emailed me telling me to cancel our room reservation we had for valentines day weekend. When I called him about it he said "its just not working anymore" usually i can get him to talk to me about it but he just completely shut me out and wouldnt talk to me. I kept telling him we could move out together and work on this and even see a counsilor (which he has suggested himself during other fights) but he just kept acting so cold and yelled at me saying "we are not getting back together" He told me he didnt love me like he used to and only as a friend. This seemed like such a nightmare for me since usually he is very sympathetic when we are even fighting. But he just wanted me to dissapear. Well a couple days ago (a week after he broke up with me) I was still completely torn apart. Crying everyday. He then admited he cheated on me. He said 4 months ago he went out with a girl from his work and then again 2 weeks after that. He says nothing physical happened that he just went back to her place and watched movies. I just don't believe him. I told his mom what was going on and she said he hadnt been home alot lately after work and she thought he was with me. I asked him about it today and he said that he was just going out for drives to clear his head, i dunno if i believe that either, but he does like to go for drives,,,i dunno... I want to hate him so bad but all I think about is wanting him back I love him so much its killing me. Every little thing reminds me of him. I cant eat, sleep its even hard to work (i work graveyard so its even harder) All I think about is him being with her. And how he has someone to comfort him through this and im just alone. Do you think this new girl of his will last ?? I feel it will because they work together and he can see her everyday, the thing he mostly wanted from me. I love him so much and cant stop thinking about how we were together and the little things he does to make him so special. Now hes doing them to her and its hurting so bad. Ive cried the last 4 days and it doesnt seem to be getting any better. I stopped hanging around alot of my friends during my relationship so its even harder thinking about getting out there and having fun again, since im not really as close with any of my friends as i used to be. A couple friends took me out the other night but I just started so get all depressed again. Even thinking about finding someone new brings me down because I dont want anyone else and it makes me sick to even think about any other guy. And now I'm even thinking how much ill miss even sleeping with him. He was the 2nd guy i slept with and even the 1st guy i only slept with once, so he is even pretty much my only sexual experience, which is even harder. I know it sounds strange but i even get depressed taking my birth control pills...im thinking why am i even doing this. This is completely killing me ever minute of the day and i dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. It would be different if he hadnt already replaced me, how can he do it so fast and just give up on 4 1/2 years of his life. I am in so much pain please help me....
thank you to anyones advise
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