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Posted by Debbie on 2/15/2005, 3:02 am, in reply to "Breaking up" If you are that crazy about each other, he will be in just as much pain. And don't believe this crap about guys not feeling. They just bury things. But yes, you, as a female will feel more. It is just how we are built. I work with all men in a very male (only women) profession...engineering and I promise you.. they feel .. and feel big time. They just express it differently. I can not tell you how many times I have had to "translate" their girlfriends or wifes actions and comments to them. She says one thing, they "hear" something else AND visa versa. I would suggest you read up on the differences in viewpoint and communcation between men and women. Find out how you can communicate in THEIR language. It is easier for you as a female, than it will ever be for a guy, sorry to say ... frankly, they just don't think that way. Communciation on a deep level, is simply not a prority. Many, simply do not know HOW to do it. Or in some cultures, it is acutally considered a weakness if they DO talk about things (Nordic countries) Now I can just hear all the women, screaming at me now ... what about HIM. My response is, do you want a relationship or live alone with your pride and theorical rules of how "he" should act. For example, if a guy comes home at night and does not want to talk, it may be he is simply out of "words" for the day. Guys on average only communicate 1/3 of the word count that women do. Does that mean he does not care, since he is not talking to you .... NO, but you demanding "communication", when he is on "empty" simply tells him that you don't think he is good enough. Men really need approval - no matter what they say. Women leave when they don't feel "loved". Men leave, when they don't feel appericated. Find a different technique, look for "his" love button and stop thinking all about what YOU need and how you need it. Sure, that is not a 100% of the time, but you would be amazed at what he "hears" verse what you "mean" is completely different. With your own relationship, If you are both really crazy about each other, it will come back. If he does not, then he lost out on something really special. This, Does not reduce the pain much, but you MUST realize and believe in your own worth and value. You are an "incrediable" women. Know it. Live it. Just do some work on how to think like a guy. It will help you in your next relationship regardless. Unfortunately,not all relationships are meant to work, but they always make you a better person regardless. Good luck.
Sorry you are in so much pain. I have been there myself. But did you mutually agree to part? Or was it your or his idea?
This is a relationship, he has needs too.
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