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Posted by MIKE on 6/28/2005, 3:25 am
Hello All,pls have patient to read this, its a long one but i need your opinon and thoughts pls.
I have shared my thoughts and feelings with you all and i must say that i've gotten the best advice from you all than i've ever gotten before.
My ex girl broke up with me since Jan and few days later she was seen with this guy. From her phone records she was talking to the guy constantly since december of last year. At first i was heartbroken and it was like the end of this world to me.I Did embrace this message board for comfort and i thank all of u for that. i did break NC rule most of the time but as time went on i began to get healed. My ex started contacting me and we will talk, hangout, have sex and she will keep telling me she isnt seeing anyone at the moment and that she needed space. Deep in my mind i knew that wasnt true and i was cautious dealing with her, and i did realise that i didnt have to spend my life with someone that i couldnt trust, so all i was doing was just having that good time with her like i would with someone i just met on the street. After awhile, i thought it did not worth it whatsoever to still hang around with this girl afterall one could have gotten the same pleasure from other girls. A week ago i posted on here that i'd sent her a letter to say goodbye and i also did call her to say that i didnt want her to call me again until she figured out what she wanted. 5 days later she called but i did not answer, i mentioned that on here and i got a few response that i shouldn't call her back but if she ever calls i should answer. Today she called and i answered and asked her if she'd recieved my letter and she said yes and that she wanted to ask me why i didn't want to be her friend. I told her i couldn't trust her and i got her to accept that she was seeing this dude, so i totally blasted her. I told her she was the biggest fool i've ever come across in my entire life, cos i couldnt imagine someone that is seeing another guy and still wanting to be friends with her ex. She said she knew i was gonna bring a new girl and walk up to her face to make her feel that all is well, and i responded to her that im not a kid to but if she ever sees me with another girl looking quite happy, that it was gonna be real and not to decieve anybody. My relationship with my ex was perfect, but today she told me that to her it wasnt. I did feel insulted in a way so i hung up the phone on her. She will call back immediately, i'll curse her out and hang up the phone on her and this happened repeatedly about 7 times. This is exactly what she use to do to me when she first broke up with me, i'll call her and while trying to plead with her she will hang the phone on me and this was totally different cos i was pleading for no offense but cos i couldnt imagine losing her. I was quite happy that i could do that back to her, and she will plead with me to calm down that she wanted to talk to me and i'll tell her Hell Nooo!! go F urself with your new man. I was quite upset but i also did it purposely to prove to her that i wasnt that guy that use to beg her for a comeback but a totally strong and stand up guy.
She did call again and i told her that while we were dating that i cheated on her countless times and i do not care what she is doing now and hung up. She called back and asked why i did that to her, and i asked her why she was concerned that i thought we weren't dating and that she had a new man. I assumed that shouldn't have been a concerned to her. Yes i did cheat on her while we were dating and i regreted it and never did it again but she never knew. She called again to find out who i did it with, and i was totally amazed on why this girl was so concerned. Now i see she wanted to eat her cake and have it. B4 i hung up the phone on her the last time, i gave her a piece of advice not to be so excited about this new dude, cos in my heart he has already cheated on her 10 times, i felt sorry for her to tell her that, but i know she will soon see the light. Ladies and gentlemen on this board, im not a bad person at all, i have never said the F word to anyone nor curse anyone before, but i was emotionally pushed today and i had to let out all i had in my mind so that this girl wouldnt think she is what she is not. I felt i should let her know that im the bad person she feels iam since she couldn't see how much i valued her and the good things i did for her but rather saw the bad things She claim i did. I just wanted her to know that i could be cruel and heartless like she was to me and i know it is over b/w the 2 of us so i had nothing to hold back. I know she is hurt obviously but i want you guys to tell me what will happen from here. Im a little bit scared cos i was so mad that i cursed her out with her new guy and i painted them black, didnt even give her a chance to talk And i just hope im secured. I would appreciate anything u all have to tell me on here and i'll listen and heed to ur advice.
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