Posted by PlumFairy on 11/5/2009, 6:23 am, in reply to "What does a daughter do, when her mother..."
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....to your father, to see if they have paperwork already in place, of any kind? It may be that they have, and that it's at the office of whatever lawyer drew it up, but that they never felt comfortable sharing it.
Dh had medical power of attorney over his dad, was executer (sp?) of his estate, etc., but his father set that up, along with his living trust, long before it was needed.
So when he ended up in the hospital, Dh was in charge of his medical care *but* his father had a DNR in place, so Dh had no choice in that part of it. He also had a cpl of other medical wishes in place, which Dh carried out, though he wouldn't have made the choices on his own, and it was very difficult for him.
So, while we did have charge over his medical care, once he needed help with it, it was already in place, which is quite different from your situation.
Consulting a lawyer is a good idea, but unless there is proof that your father isn't able to make competent decisions, and you push that legally, most likely, he will be the one who will be expected to make your mother's medical decisions, should she not be able to...physically, or mentally. So he needs to be told that the Dr. called, and be made aware of every aspect of your mom's situation, if he isn't already, so that he can intervene if that's applicable, and he wishes to. Children won't likely have any rights to a parent's care, unless there's a reason that the parent is unable to make their own choices, in the eyes of the people making such decisions, and then that their spouse cannot do it after that. Of course, there may be something in Ohio law that I don't know about, which is where speaking with a lawyer to learn what rights you guys do, and don't have, comes in.
I'm so very sorry this is happening, and will cont. to pray for all your current needs. (((Hug!)))
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