Oh, no! That's a terrible position to be put in!
I know that it would affect your relationship with Josh if you didn't keep his confidence. Especially right now with his issues with his mom/sister.
But, I can see, and actually understand, why Kara will feel resentful once she learns that you knew, and participated, without talking to her.
Definitely between a rock and a hard place.
Is there any way to encourage Josh to just be open with Kara on the matter? She doesn't have to attend, and maybe wouldn't even want to? But, for their own future relationship, that's probably what needs to happen.
From experience, I know that all can eventually be overlooked, and a relationship repaired, but that's from person to person if that happens.
I wish that he'd just tell Kara, "Hey, we're getting married. You don't have to like it, but it's what's going to happen." Not wonderful, but it would be coming from the horses mouth, and let you off the hook about 50%. She probably still wouldn't be happy about your participation, but at least you won't have gone behind her back...I see that as the worst part of the situation...
I'm so sorry, and will be praying for a solution to present itself that will do the least amount of damage to feelings, and future relationships.
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Love All Life; Thank You For Posting! :)