First of all, we Orthodox, culturally, should simply be, as the old song says, "Doing what comes naturally." In that regard, you will get no argument from me. You will find no louder critic of the "faux Rus" parishes so popular and encouraged by a former West Coast Bishop. Expressing a false identity as an integral part of Church life is making falsehood a requisite part of the Church. However, the only long term "American" culture is that of the Native Americans. All else derives from immigrants. Different communities will have different backgrounds, and the Church needs to simply transform the local society into a Christian one, be it of Greek, Syrian, Carpatho-Rus, Celtic, Asian or a mixture of all. The Church never was given the mission of extinguishing ethnicity, just to make disciples of all nations.
Yes, we need to clean up our house. We need to allow the parish to be a natural expression of the members - all the members, but in Orthodox terms. However, that is a much harder task in the US, an ethnically heterogeneous population, versus the "historic" Orthodox lands, which are relatively ethnically homogenous. If that expression celebrates a person's own Russian heritage, so be it, but only if it is a natural expression. Imposing "American", whatever that is, on anyone is just as out of place as is imposing "Rus". We just can't seem to come to grips with that.
The late Fr Nicholas Fedetz got it right. His parish regularly had wonderful dinners. One such dinner was promoted as being a "Buffet of Fr Nick's Favorite Ethnic Dishes." No other details of the menu were offered. Speculation was rampant about what marvelous Carpatho-Russian delights would await the crowd, as Fr Nick and Matushka Gerry were quite the chefs. Much to everyone's surprise, when the serving trays were uncovered, a magnificent Italian spread was before them. With a bit of help from two of us of Italian ancestry, Fr Nick had prepared a delightful meal and gave a short lesson on the true meaning of "ethnicity" and it's proper, all inclusive mandate in the Church.
But "dealing" with the Protestants (if such can be done) is a totally different issue. Since history is their enemy, they cannot and will not accept the existence of The True Church in the East. Keep in mind that their roots are not in "making disciples of all nations", but sheep stealing from the Church of Rome. Today, not only do they still have that underlying predisposition, but have expanded into sheep stealing from each other. Think about that as you try to drum up a way to be "relevant" to them.
Look closely at the emerging American Protestant message. They preach "heaven on Earth", where we simply pray for "an abundance of the fruits of the Earth", never confusing Heaven and Earth in the process. They try to make God acceptable and/or relevant to man. Orthodoxy teaches that we must make ourselves acceptable to God. They are "saved" during their lifetime, and many even preach receiving the "fruits of salvation" on this Earth. Not even close to Orthodox beliefs. They are not seeking a God to whom we are subservient.
We have so little in common, that it staggers my imagination when one talks about any notion of "similarities". To them, The Orthodox Church cannot exist, except as another flock to steal from.