Number 1: in the early 90s. I ride down a long hill in a 40, out in the country, early on a wet Sunday morning. Two-up, in a hurry, I'm doing about 50 but the roads are totally empty - have been for miles.
Cunningly waiting until they know I won't be able to pull up until after I've passed them, two cops pop out of a bus shelter and signal me in. I brake very hard but sail by to the tune of 10' or so - it looks bad!
The conversation went as follows:
"Morning officer. Have you missed the bus? I can offer you a lift."
"It's more a case of what I can do for you sir. How fast were you going and what do you think the limit is?"
We continued for a while until, having saved them work by having all my docs with me, we came to the final speech.
"How big's your motorcycle engine?"
"Well, if I can do 40mph in my 3.5ltr car you can do it on your little motorbike."
And off I went. That was over 20yrs ago - I travel through Ford in Wiltshire regularly but I've never broken the limit since.
Number 2: 2011
Taking a visiting Russian student to see Stonehenge and Avebury by FJ1200. We make very rapid progress indeed from Stonehenge to Avebury, stop for a bit, and head for home. Joining the A4 at Beckhampton Corner, the old, three lane A4 uphill is now two lanes with broken white lines/chevrons to protect the middle lane. 100yds ahead is a black BMW X5 with tinted windows going my way. Obviously an unmarked car, I think to myself.
As it's only doing 50mph I accelerate to pass, going into the chevrons (broken lines so no law-breaking) but as I draw up to bumper level he accelerates to 65mph or so.
Hmm, thinks I - a policeman wouldn't do that. Then I think, you might have an X5 but this is an FJ1200 - the God of Torque - watch this. He disappears in my mirror; I concentrate on the road ahead, knowing full well that Wilts police have a favourite speed-trap spot in a dip. After a mile or so of fairly swift progress we are dropping down the hill into Cherhill. I check the mirrors
Sitting about 30yds behind is a black X5, now illuminated with a wide variety of blue, flashing lights. Bugger. I wonder how long those have been going!
I pull over, and we have a chat.
"Nice gun, officer"
"Afternoon sir. Today we are just warning speeding motorcyclists, not arresting them for doing 90mph without checking their mirrors."
We chatted amicably for some time - he was armed response so probably not a calibrated speedo and I certainly couldn't recall going 'that' fast. He did say they tried to be lenient, especially with riders like me: fully clothed in leathers, going fast but safely, although he said they drew the line on the regular Avebury bike nights when people would ride past marked cars at high speed on one wheel. Fair enough, really.
When we left, the Russian student was amazed that he hadn't asked for a bribe, sexual favour or impounded my bike for his own use.
See, it's not such a bad country.