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Posted by Amanda Prentice
on July 22, 2009, 7:46:26, in reply to "Re: Leo's Biopsy Results"
78.146.247.225
HI Pippa.
Thank you for explaining that. I always try to understand our babies' conditions as best I can. Leo is teaching me a lot!!!!
I can so relate to the dark clouds!! I think we all can. I had a bad few days last week. There was Swine Flu at Katie's school. This knocked me for 6. I didn't think something so simple would affect me so much, but that lack of children at school made me question a lot of things? By day 2 I was virtually in tears when I dropped Katie off!! I was obviously concerned about both girls, but I just kept thinking, please don't let Lucy catch it!!!!!
What really pushed me over the edge was the evening of day one. We were eating dinner and a scared little voice said "Mummy, I've got a pea stuck up my nose". Not being in a particularly calm mood anyway, I shouted, "oh my god", which made matters ten times worse, and then Lucy started choking on her dinner. I'd just about decided that I should save Lucy first, when Adam came in and sorted Lucy out. Katie is nearly 5 for goodness sake!!!!!!! She shouldn't be doing things like that. She's never done anything like that before. I was shaking still the following night. I needed lots of wine!!!!
It does sound funny now, but seriously, I was not myself. I was quite literally a wreck. I find now, that something simple can push me over the edge. I used to be so strong and fearless, and now the simplest of things turn me into someone who is a frightened, different version of me who feels very alone and who worries about everything. When I try to explain to anyone that is not a heart mum they just don't have a clue. I guess you don't expect them too really, not those feelings.
Anyway, I've just made your post all about me!!!
Take care x
((HUG)) for Leo
Amanda x
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