Posted by Jeffy Andrews on July 2, 2004, 2:57 am, in reply to "The Man"

Andrews: And then we have my opponents. Deion Bonds, Adam Delicious, and my old enemy, Mr. Dude. By the way, Dude, I think you should go back to being Mr. Dude. Taranis is a shitty name, and someone from The Axis gave it to you, which gives it ethereal shittyness. Do I mean ethereal? You know, because it’s associated with The Axis it has this oh hell, forget it. [He shakes his head.] Andrews: So I guess, Bonds. I’ll start with you. And my question to you, Deion, is why? Why haven’t you won the IWA Heavyweight Title yet? Well, if I can quote the almighty De Istemus for a minute “Neutrality is empty. Righteousness has no dignity.” [Pause for reflection.] Andrews: Marc DelRio is, in every sense of the word, the king. And for that I salute him. But you want to know why that applies to you, Deion? It’s because you can’t pick sides. And when you do, you do for the wrong reasons. [Engage rant mode.] Andrews: Deion first sides with Mr. Dude over that thing with Dawn, ends up with Kai Scott backstabbing them. And you want to know why Bonds didn’t win? Because he didn’t do anything because there was a reason to – he did it out of wanting to be right. Out of respect, rather, but it’s the same thing. He didn’t do it for personal motivation, he didn’t do it knowing that doing it would progress him towards a goal. He didn’t really do it for any reason at all, if it comes to that. And that’s why, despite his impressive title reigns, he’s been not exactly the fastest moving star in the IWA. Bonds, I’ll tell you this man to man – if you wanted it, you’d be IWA Heavyweight Champion by now. I don’t like the fact that you did it, I hope she rips you limb from limb this week – but you beat Heidi. You know how many people have done that? And you’ve beat other top names too. Big D, Kai Scott many, you have the capabilities. But you don’t have the drive, Deion you just don’t. [He laughs out loud.] Andrews: Shit now I was going to say something about ‘and you don’t have drive therefore you won’t win’. But then, why did I go and tell you about it? Ah well, even if you do try, I’m still better than you. So moving on Adam Duh-licious. [That was funny when he did it to AnDUHconda. Maybe you laughed.] Andrews: I would have hoped, Adam, that you got the message last week. You can’t beat me, Adam. You can’t even fight me. You threw me off a truck and what have you got to show for it? Nothing. I dragged you down with me, and then changed the rules so I won the match. And to try and claim other is unrealistic. Considering you’re the ‘realist’, I would hope you wouldn’t do that. Or maybe I’d hope you would, because that would mean I could laugh at you being stupid. Just like I used to. I mean, seriously, you can’t separate the way things are from the way they are in Delicious land! You wrecked the Untouchables, dude, and not the way Kai would talk about, bringing up Jason Lee and that. You wrecked them because you couldn’t control your perceptions! You tried to shelter Heidi by words, and when that didn’t work, you tried to shelter her by force. And that lost you the IWA Heavyweight Title. I mean, it’s Heidi, you would’ve lost anyway, but you could have at least made a proper showing. Also, I beat you last week. Ha. [Jeffy Andrews looks pleased with himself. He’s always enjoyed getting up in front of anything and talking a lot. That’s why he made a good CAL Prez.] Andrews: And then we come to my old buddy, Mr. Dude [If you wanna know about the Jeffy Andrews/Mr. Dude battle, check the roster pages or something.] Andrews: I’ll admit, only because there’s no point in denying it, but I’ll admit it all the same – Dude ok, fine, Taranis has beaten me a lot more often than I’ve beaten him. And the only time I did beat him was after Canadian Psycho popped out of a Mandeep the Great costume. And I think I beat him in a tag match, but I can’t remember. But I’m not worried about that, Taranis, because you’re a shell of what you used to be. And if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be calling yourself Taranis. What really happened to you, Taranis, is that when Kai Scott beat you at Ground Zero, he killed you. Everything you’d ever been counting on being, taken down by the guy who you thought of as the B half of your tag team. Kai did some pretty shitty things, I’m not even trying to get involved in who did what to who or which things were wrong. But man, you turned away. And I’ll tell you this, Chris. Forget feuds, this is one former friend to another, OK? You are never going to get it back together if you can’t beat Kai Scott. Kai is your antichrist, ok? Everything you’ve done since leaving IWA has been attributed to what Kai did to you. Revenge against IWA? Because it was lead by your ex girlfriend, who oh yeah was stolen by Kai. Leaving the IWA? Kai beat you. Siding with The Darkness in CSWA? Because certain among them didn’t like Kai and probably because you hoped if he came following, you’d have a stable to back you up. I don’t really know. But hey – do me a favor, Chris, and worry about Kai Scott and not this match, ok? Because if you do that, you’ll be able to make something of yourself. After you get done losing to me. [This is near closing.] Andrews: I’m sure, Chris, and for that matter, Adam and Deion too, will wonder why I really did this. Why I sided with Angelina after going through so much. Why I’d throw away everything I’ve built, my reputation as the Low Man Immortal, the Larger Than Death Hero of the IWA. To answer you, I’m gonna quote De Istemus again. “More than thou he knows it. What’s real is really fake.” [Jeffy Andrews has a certain look that he gets on his face. It’s been seen all of twice. Once, when he was holding a staff meeting during the early days of IWA. Once, right after he smashed a kendo stick over Heidi’s head.] [It’s hatred but a level of hatred that most people will never even comprehend.] Andrews: What it means, everybody [This is the third time he’s had that look on his face.] [And then, history.] [Jeffy Andrews reaches up to his right eye. Taking hold of where his eyebrow would be if it wasn’t for the scar, he pulls ] [ and the scar, peels right off his face.] [And his face now without scar, he reaches both hands up to the right eye, and does something. A few seconds later, and his right eye is sparkling blue, the same as his left. And he’s holding what appears to be a concave gray piece of glass, balanced on his right thumb. A contact lens.] Andrews: Don’t EVER think that you know me. [And the ‘evil’ look fades into a smirk.] Andrews: Because I really, truly, am The Man. And you can never hope to understand.] [He rises, to leave.] Andrews: THANK YOU. [And that is all.]