Posted by Bryan Prodigy on July 3, 2004, 12:11 am

Chris Prodigy and Kate ended up missing the flight to Belfast because Kate broke her arm and Chris had to go with her to the hospital. Carrie had gone with them, and according to rumors done a photo shoot wearing a black g-string and a green plaid shirt. You know, to celebrate the whole Irish thing, since everyone who’s Irish wears green plaid. Bryan, and Chris too, will undoubtedly hate that. But Right now, Chris and Kate are at the hospital. And Bryan and Tara really meant to stay there with them. But, they got bored. “Hey, Bryan, take me to BestBuy. I wanna pick up Down II.” A CD. Bryan introduced Tara to Down. “Yeah. And I want some Black Label Society.” So off they went. Tara and Bryan, alone, could turn heads. Tara’s a 6 ft 1 girl who could very easily kick the asses of most guys, and Bryan’s 6 ft 7. Together, it’s like, holy shit. People get out of their way. So into BestBuy they go. Bryan waves to the guy who stands by the door and says hi to all the customers, he says something along the lines of ‘ulp’. He and Tara laugh, and they wander over to the CD section. “For a BestBuy, these guys have pretty good selection. Check it out, Dog Fashion Disco.” Bryan shows the CD to Tara. “They also have Machine Head and Monster Magnet.” Tara’s over at the M section, and she’s currently rifling through CDs. Bryan thinks this over, and realizes that Down doesn’t start with M. “Tara, I thought you were getting Down II.” Tara shrugs. “Yeah, well, getting one CD is boring. So I’m looking to see if they’ve got a misplaced copy of Machine Head and Burn My Eyes.” “That’s a kickass CD.” Bryan hums the opening strains of Davidian under his breath, then picks up a copy of Dinosaur Junior. “You know anything about these guys?” This, incidentally, is where you envy Bryan – how many of you are lucky enough to have a girl, who considers going CD hunting and talking about what makes a proper band, a proper date? Because Tara’s just fine with that. She also doesn’t get offended if Bryan takes her to Taco Bell instead of Le Chateau Magnifique or whatever $300 a meal restaurant most trendy yuppy couples go to. “They’re grunge rock, but they’re decent. I suggest no, though download them or something.” Tara came wandering over to where Bryan was, the Down CD along with two others in her hand. “I think, Bryan, what we’d be best off doing, is having us a little party. Since there won’t be anyone else around we can have some fun.” Bryan grins. And why wouldn’t he? I mean what the hell else might she mean? We fade up on Bryan and Chris’s apartment. Since Chris and Kate have spent most of their time in Kate’s apartment, Bryan and Tara haven’t been able to mess it up. And since Carrie still lives with her brothers, they haven’t been able to mess up Bryan’s apartment either. But now, everyone’s gone. And complete and utter chaos reigns. The floor is covered with no less than 4 pizza boxes. There isn’t any pizza left. Mixed in with the pizza boxes are a few (several) bottles of beer, most of them empty. Machine Head is blasting out so loud that the walls are quite literally shaking. No wait, that’s just one wall the wall that separates Bryan’s bedroom from the living room. And that shaking is disturbingly rhythmic. Slowly, as if it’s anxious, the camera moves down the hall and then slowly pans into the room To find Bryan and Tara, jumping on the bed. Tara’s obviously had more than her fill of beer, you can see it in her eyes. Bryan can handle a fair amount of alcohol due in part to his size, but he’s also pretty goofy in the head right now. In fact, this is some strange combination between jumping on the bed and attempting to mosh to Machine Head. And the session only ends when Bryan misses a jump. Normally able to land pinpoint 450 splashes, Bryan flies past Tara all off balance and smacks chest first into the bedroom floor. Tara, for her part, begins laughing so hard, she falls off the bed, backwards, onto Bryan. A montage of shots fly by the screen. Bryan and Tara throwing a television set out the window. Carrie is going to kill them. Tara coming up with a bag full of questionable herbs. With a grin, she explains to Bryan that, that time she replaced his ‘stuff’ with leaf mustard? Well, this is where it actually went A scene of the two of them, watching the television. A cloud of smoke floats over head, and they’re watching reruns of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. (Author’s note – trust me. If you’re messed up, that show is funny as hell.) Bryan and Tara messing around with the weights that Tara has in her apartment. Bryan picks Tara up and arm curls her. Tara tries to pick up Bryan, almost manages, overbalances and falls flat on her back, tossing Bryan across the room. They both laugh like well, like people who’re laughing. Bryan and Tara devouring an amazing amount of pizza, and washing it down with more beers. Bryan, out on the sidewalk, Tara riding piggyback. Bryan runs up and down the sidewalk like a 4 year old on speed. If it weren’t raining so damn hard they’d probably have been arrested for disorderly conduct. But they’re too messed up to care that it’s raining. It becomes dark. Wandering around on foot, Bryan and Tara head towards the nearest set of flashing lights. They go inside the building that bears said flashing lights. It’s a strip bar. The bouncer stops them – but instead of asking them to leave, he points them towards a special part of the club. Bryan sits down, but Tara heads into the back. A cheesy banner marquee hanging from the ceiling reads “Amateur Night in the Pit”. We’ll spare the details of appearance, due to trying to keep this promo at a PG 13 level. But “Amateur Night in the Pit” is apparent, an amateur mud wrestling competition. Bryan’s grin is threatening to eat his ears as he watches Tara walk out in the camo shorts she always wears and a matching bikini top. Her opponent, a rather average looking blonde type, looks her up and down, and then forfeits the match. We watch Bryan’s grin for a while, and then clip to a few shots of Tara’s hand being raised. Then we are treated to a scene with Tara, soaking wet, having been hosed off after the tournament, holding a trophy in one hand and Bryan’s shoulders with the other hand. She can barely keep her balance, and Bryan isn’t much better. Fortunately for them they weren’t driving. It’s just amazing they were able to walk home. So around 11 pm, Bryan and Tara stagger into Tara and Kate’s apartment. Carrie has just gotten home from Belfast, Bryan knows because he saw her car, and he’d as soon avoid her while he’s in this condition. So he and Tara lie down on the sofa. Again, PG 13 content. But you know how one thing leads to another Bryan has just managed to get the strap of Tara’s top down over her shoulder, when heavy footsteps are heard. Some sort of 6th sense causes Bryan to sober up enough to raise his head. That 6th sense doesn’t cause Bryan to think to let go of Tara’s breast. Then the door opens. If you followed Prod Inc’s last promo, you might’ve heard Tara say something about her unemployed brother who used to be a wrestler. If you’ve been following for a long time, you’d know that Tara’s last name is Pace. Now think really hard which wrestler do we know who’s last name ends in Pace?