Posted by Gazz on July 5, 2004, 9:38 am
Message modified by board administrator July 5, 2004, 9:59 am

(Since the IWA formed there has been a core of people who have never left for longer than a few months, always stayed true to the company, and done what they were told, they’d loyally stand by IWA. They are the “Class of 2001”. Heidi, Jeffy, Delicious, Taranis, Kai and Gazz had pretty much always been in the IWA or thereabouts. They always did what was best by the company, and all had cushy road agent jobs at some point. Then things changed. EFO, The Andrews Foundation, SeX. Now IWA had to be saved from itself, a job Gazz took with Gusto. Despite never being the nicest of people to know, he was lauded backstage and by the “Smarks” for being a “Locker Room Leader”. He spat upon all things egotistical and Main event. He hated Power plays by large factions. Hence EFO, they were formed to stop Stables gaining coups upon power. SeX is on it’s last legs, that’s no worry now. Red Axis was never anything you could call a power, but the Andrews Foundation? That’s different altogether. Four of the greatest wrestlers in IWA history banding together. Well, that’s dangerous. Gazz is one of the few people standing against them with a position of power. None of the Andrews Foundation have a major title. Gazz does. Gazz has always been an arsehole, harsh, abrasive, Shouty and coarse. Yet although he is hard, he is fair. Very fair, he knows that he is the little guy done good. That’s why the Andrews Foundation make his blood boil. Most powerful entity in Wrestling, and they are being real pricks. This week he gets to wrestle Kai Scott, they aren’t new to each other, but have only ever met once. Also the guest referee is his opponent at the upcoming Pay Per View in gazz’ home nation of wales, Llewellyn yr Penaig. Where does Llew stand? For all Gazz knows, he’s a dicksplash in a Andrews Foundation t-shirt himself. So that brings us to Gazz, as per usual, the height of fashion in an awful Hawaiian shirt, shorts and white Moccasins. Fred is with us too, in this little pub.) Fred: Aye sir, you could get quite Royally ####ed up the arse, I say, Arse by this sir. Gazz: Are you aware of how much help you are Fred? Well, let me tell you, not ####ing much, you shithead. Are you aware how much pressure I am under here? Well, let me tell you, a ####ing shitload. I’ve never done the big match, never, well, never done it and won, other than Jack Cross and Loki, but I had a partner. And moreover, it’s two against one. Two against one. Not officially, but it may as well be. Llew wants me cripped for the Welsh show. Fred: I say, though, I say, they aren’t getting on themselves. Gazz: Yeah but that’s bollocks Fred, and you know it, I’m ####ing screwed. EFO can’t even help me, because the Andrews Foundation and SeX will be about somewhere. I’m the most hated man in the ####ing IWA! Fred: Cheer up. Gazz: No. No I won’t ####ing cheer up. Fred: I can cheer you up! Gazz: Women? #### YEAH! Fred: Not quite Gazz: BARRY ####ING WINDHAM!!! WHAT A SWANK WHOMPASS MOFO! Fred: Same Lines. Gazz: NOT ####ING FIT FINLAY! I LOVE YOU! Fred: You’ll love me more when you see him. Introducing “GLORIOUSLY PRETTY PRECIOUS YOUNG STALLION” PAUL ROMA! Gazz: You invited him again? For ####s sake. He’s a ####ing cunty twat. Roma: Hey #### you. Gazz: Witty Retort. Fartybreath. Roma: #### you, get me some cake. Gazz: We haven’t cake. Roma: Get me some cake, I can have you killed. Gazz: If I get you some cake, will you #### off? Roma: Yes. Gazz: Right . Hang on, this is a pub, You don’t get cake in a pub. Roma: What a shit pub. Gazz: Better than your pub. Roma: I don’t have a pub. Gazz: Well then. Roma: Where’s your pub then? Gazz: We’re in it. Roma: Oh. Gazz: Exactly. Roma: Twat Gazz: #### off .. Fred, your idea of cheering me up isn’t working, in fact it’s making me want to kick a certain person in the face until he stops twitching. Roma: Who’s that? *Cue look of Death from Gazz* Roma: Who? Roma: Who!? Tell me!?? Roma: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!????????? (We cut to Gazz’s living room) Fred: You didn’t have to kill him though. Gazz: I can’t stand a pester. A shithead Pesterer to boot. I’ve the toughest match of my career coming up, and you are ####ing inviting shitheads to my house and pub. One’s who you know I don’t like, but you seem to think they’ll cheer me up. Well, that’s just a lie itself. They are your friends, and you know I don’t like them and thus will not have them in my house! So you make excuses so that they are helping me so they can come here, and they end up getting hurt. I don’t even like you fred, I only keep you about because *mumble mumble* Fred: What? Gazz: I said *mumble mumble* Fred: Pardon? Gazz: YOU ARE THE REASON I’M OVER! HAPPY NOW? Fred: Aye, I knew what you said but it’s good to hear you shout it, especially seeing as I was recording on a Dictaphone. Gazz: You wanker. Anyway. No more friends. Fred: I better phone Noel “Wanker” Edmonds then. Gazz: What? He can #### off for starters, that shitface. He looks too gay to be involved. And I need to look tough and hard this week. Cavorting with Noel Edmonds would not make he look hard, especially seeing as his one line of conversation is about masturbation. Fred: So he’s not invited then? Gazz: No. Never again. Fred: But he was over! Gazz: And it was *my* heat he stole. Fred: That’s a lie really isn’t it? YES!!!!!!!