Posted by "The Wildcard" Chance Runnels on July 7, 2004, 9:42 pm

[Still in London out hero Chance Runnels and his trust sidekick/manager John “the head case” Jones last night daringly escapes the confines of the prison/museum ‘The Tower Of London’ after John proceeded to sneeze into the Queens face in a search for personal power. The two friends in the company of Chance’s girlfriend are enjoying a cup off coffee at an expensive London cafe.] John: Three bloody pounds for a cup of coffee! Three whole bloody pounds! Chance: John shut up! John: I will not, I cannot! Chance: Here we go John: You, waitress over here! [A tall blonde women walks over to the table obviously taking an immediate interest in Chance seen as how he’s the hero and all. She speaks with a French accent.] Waitress: Can I help you sir? John: Yes in fact you can, otherwise I wouldn’t have called you over now would I? Waitress: Sorry, so how can I help you? John: These prices are ridiculous; I want to see the manager! Waitress: I err Chance: Go easy on her would you, It’s not her fault you’re a cheap bastard. John: I’m a what! [The waitress up to her mouth and giggles and smiles at Chance, Amy doesn’t look to happy!] Amy: Your flirting with her! Chance: What! Waitress: Erm John: Ha ha! Chance: No I wasn’t! Amy: You were, don’t you love me anymore! Chance: We’ve only been seeing each other a week! Amy: So you don’t love me? [Amy starts to cry as John laughs, the waitress whistles and walks away to serve another table.] Chance: Amy, Of course I [Chance chokes on the words, finding it hard to express his feelings] Chance: love you, and I wasn’t flirting with her. Amy: Well, good. ‘cause I was about to give her a tongue lashing followed by a head bashing. John: (laughing) How corny was that! Amy: Shut it, before I bury my foot up to the knee in your ass! Chance: Look guys can you both can it for a while I want to b###h about my opponents some before we get involved in some crazy adventure like we do each week. Amy: Fine. John: I suppose we should get some ‘smack talk’ in before we rightly ignore the fact they’re even alive. Chance: Can you believe some of the things they said? John: You know I can because they actually did say them Chance: You know what I mean. Honestly Destiny is the Amanda to Danny’s duce. They think that was clever or something? John: I have to admit it was pretty lame as petty insults go. I should know I’m petty and lame. Amy: Next thing you know they’ll be calling John fat, me a slut and you Chance you get the most whitless and lame insult of all, your gay you are. Whitless, is that even a word? Ah sod it, it is now. Chance: (laughing) Obviously. John: Hey duce is a tennis term isn’t it? [Chance and Amy just look at John and sigh] Amy: Moving on, what was that thing he said? Chance: What thing, who? Amy: Danny stupid. Chance: Yes, but what did he say. Amy: Something about being washed away. Chance: Oh yeah the Argus revolution tide of bullshit. John: This guy has a way with words doesn’t he. I mean he expects to make waves in the IWA with crap like that. He can’t talk the talk so how the hell is he supposed to walk the walk. Chance: I mean seriously, a revolution? More like a rebellion I’d say, and just like every rebellion in history it’s about to be crushed. Amy: That was still lame, just not as lame as what he said. Chance: I’ll take that as a compliment. Amy: You know ya’ dig me. Chance: Oh yeah? [Chance and Amy start getting a bit mushy; John rolls his eyes and steps in before they kiss.] John: So what about the Danny Argus flashback? Chance: What about it? John: For once you think he’d do something remotely interesting apart from play old home movies of him getting cracked in the crotch by his sister. Chance: Well actually I thought that was pretty funny stuff for Argus. He’s just got one of those faces that screams ‘kick me in the crotch’. If I was his sister at the little reunion I would have kicked him in the crotch a second time for good measure. John: For two reasons really firstly to make things like old times and more importantly for turning into the rotten little shit that he has done. Amy: Meaow John. John: Sorry, I haven’t had enough sugar. I’m diabetic. Chance: You are? John: You honestly mean to tell me that you don’t know I’m a diabetic despite being my best mate for the past twenty odd years. Chance: Err of course I knew I was err just kidding. Really. John: Heck we’ve had some good times haven’t we. Chance: Yeah we sure have, hey you remember the time when we were eleven and we were walking along that steep bank sideways and you fell and rolled into a pile of six foot high nettles? John: That wasn’t a good time! You shit! Chance: I thought it was priceless, I could have easily have helped you and you were rolling really slowly but I was too busy pissing myself laughing. John: Thanks Judas. Chance: See our past isn’t filled with heartache and unhappiness like others not naming any names. Amy: (Cough) Danny (Cough) Destiny. John: Nasty cough you have there. Chance: Well to be honest I don’t really care, people like them that they’re past has shaped them into the ass holes they are today. If you ask me there is no excuse for people turning out to be ungrateful selfish John: Lame. Chance: Yes lame people. It’s just not cricket is it. John: That was a particularly English saying just then. Chance: (Grinning) I know. [As Chance sits back in his chair taking a drink from his mug of tea the door swings open and five really well built men in suits each with an earpiece and sunglasses walk in. Chance looks up and sighs before glaring at John.] Chance: You had to sneeze; it couldn’t have been a hiccup or a burp, no. It had to be a big floozy snotty sneeze! Suited man 1: Excuse me, are you Mr Chance Runnels IWA wrestler. Chance: and soon to be Triple Crown champion. Suited man 1: Good, we are from he British secret service and for classified reasons we’ve been sent to bring you in. Chance: For once why couldn’t it be, “hey how about an autograph?” or “how the hell are you?”. No it’s always something a bit poo. John: It’s also usually my fault. Chance: That it is John that it is. John: You ready? Chance: Bring it on! [Chance and John jump off their chairs and into action. Chance lets out one hell of a right cross knocking the first man into a spiral and down to the floor. John simply runs at his guy knocking him down in a steamroller fashion. The third man runs at taking a wide swing with his arm. John catches it in his armpit and hits him with a head butt that even he was proud of. The last to men try to rush Chance, Chance however being him counters in a particularly flashy and cocky spinning kick combination knocking them clean out.] John: And that’s how it’s done. [The first man gets up and pulls a spray can out of his Jeffet pocket and sprays it in Chance and John’s eyes. The camera fades out as John and Chance slump to the floor.]