Posted by Wildcard on July 7, 2004, 9:51 pm, in reply to "Re: F.A.B part 3"

John: What the hell does F.A.B mean? Chance: Beats me, it’s the thunderbirds catchphrase. John: But it’s got o stand for something hasn’t it? Chance: Maybe. John: But what: Fair And Brave? Flooded And Buoyant? Friendly And Bold? Chance: Fat And Balding? John: Was that a dig at me? Chance: Would I do such a thing? John: I don’t even need to answer that! Chance: You know I don’t suppose It means anything really. John: What do you mean? Chance: I suppose it’s like saying o.k. as in ok like F.A.B is just fab as in great fantastic. You understand? John: No, not really. Chance: It’s the word fab, spelt out. I think. John: Ah I see. That’s just weird though. Chance: Well It sounds good though doesn’t it? John: Yeah it does doesn’t it. Chance: We should arrive in a few minutes so we can talk about my match some more. John: Suppose so, but what can we say really? Chance: I know, it’s so unfair that Danny has to defend his title against someone of my calibre. I mean I have my own band, I have my own brand of condoms, I have a illustrious modelling acting and wrestling career and most importantly I have my own Thunderbird 2. What does Danny have, two friends and a bottle of Vodka? John: There’s no competition really. Chance: I don’t see Danny or Destiny getting hand picked for this very important mission, do you? John: I certainly do not, lets face it The Wildcard will become the Triple Crown Champion. What belts were unified to make that title? Chance: The cruiserweight, the Florida night life and Tropical sun titles. John: So I see you’ve been doing your homework. Chance: For once. John: What about Destiny and Danny teaming up. That could prove a problem? Chance: we talked about this last time, want to team up then they should do that, at least then they’d have a half a chance of one of them pinning me. John: Chance, you should really stop using the word chance in your sentences. It’s confusing. Chance: sorry. John: Seriously though you must have a tactic for this match? Chance: Seriously, no I don’t. As far as I’m concerned Destiny should stay out the way I don’t enjoy hitting girls but if she attacks me I wont hold back and I also want to do this properly. I want to pin Danny for the title, it wont mean anything unless I pin him one two three no excuses no way he can claim I didn’t beat his ass like a drum in the centre of that IWA ring. John: Chance? Chance: What? John: Are you going to look where your going? Chance: What? Holy [Chance pulls up in the nick of time just avoiding a peak of a mountain.] John: Well I need new underwear. Chance: John, I’ve said before no details. What a stupid place to put a mountain. [John looks over at Chance before blinking and shaking his head.] John: Are we there yet? Chance: Not yet, E.T.A five minutes. John: E.T.A? Don’t use damned abbreviations in front of me, I’ve had enough with the F.A.B business. Chance: Shut up. John: Hang on I thought you couldn’t fly this thing? Chance: I can’t! I’m just guessing at the moment. Landing should be fun. I wonder what that does... [John fastens his seatbelt as his face drains of colour.] John: Yippee. Chance: So how are we going to handle the Hood? John: with extreme caution, he is gay after all. Chance: Was that homophobia I herd in your voice? John: I’m not homophobic, I think everybody should have the freedom to like what they like, as long as they don’t come near me. [Chance laughs as he approaches the selected landing area.] Chance: We’re here. John: Thank god. [Thunderbird two lands on the four legs that have extended from the body work. The pod containing thunderbird 6 is lowered to the ground and the door drops open. Out drive John and Chance mounted in the mole machine.] Chance: Time to dig. John: No, really? Chance: Don’t start because I wont refrain my self from slapping you about. John: Point taken. Chance: How do I start this thing then? John: How about that large button red button the size of a small continent saying ‘DIG’. Chance: Didn’t see that. John: It’s the only button on the dashboard. Chance: Yeah well John: Just push it. [Chance pushes the button and they start drilling underground. Meanwhile Scott and Alan has stripped down to their thunderbird boxer shorts and are dancing around in a boogie night fashion. The camera cuts inside where the hood dressed in a pink jumpsuit sits in a swivel chair watching the boys on a security camera. He seems to be “enjoying” himself. The mole suddenly bursts out of the soft ground and John and Chance jump out and pose with their hands on their hips. Hood: Who are you guys? Chance: We are here to stop you hood! John: Yeah, an beat you senseless in the process. Virgil: Help us! Chance: What the [On the table behind them is Virgil tied nude with whip marks across his arse and sitting in a chair beside him is Gordon with a blindfold on and a rubber ball in his mouth also nude.] John: The bastard! [John charges at the Hood and knocks him to the ground they wrestle round on the floor.] Hood: (giggling) You touched my bum! John: Don’t you mess with me, I’m a diabetic! Chance: Hold him off I’ll untie these two. John: How come I have to wrestle the gay guy. Chance: Because I’m the hero and you’re a supporting character. John: Good point. Take this [As John beats holes out of the Hood, Chance unties the two weeping men and opens the doors of the warehouse. Outside Scott and Alan have really got into the dancing and now Scott is smearing himself in mud while Alan is rubbing his loins on Thunderbird 1’s refuleing probe.] Chance: Not what I expected Hey guys you can take him. Hood: Oh, I’ve come! Chance: What! [Chance turns around and John is being choked while hood brings against his ass,] Chance: I don’t know weather to laugh or cry. [Chance picks up a conveniently placed iron bar and hits the Hood around the head. John picks himself off and is obviously freaking out!] John: Don’t you ever tell anyone what happened to me! I was violated, I’m mentally scared. I should have kept my ass to the wall. Chance: Don’t you think you should be more tactful with your words, there are lot of people watching at home who are gay, besides you said you didn’t mind gay people. John: I said I didn’t mind as long as they stayed away from me and he wasn’t staying away. Chance: Whatever man. [Scott and Alan walk on to the scene. Scott hands two towels to Gordon and Virgil while Alan picks up the Hood.] Chance: Well looks like our work here is done. Scott: Yes thanks for your help. Good luck in your match this week. Chance: Thanks and F.A.B. Four Tracy Brothers: F.A.B John: Not again, no way. I have a low sugar level dam it! Chance: Go suck on some grass then will you, I’m sure there’s some sugar in that. [The Tracy brothers leave in the two aircraft as John and Chance wave them off.] Chance: Hang on the buggers have left us here! John: Where are we? [The camera fades to black until next time viewers.]