Posted by "The Wildcard" Chance Runnels on July 9, 2004, 8:30 pm

[Last time here on “The Wildcard” Chance Runnels show that broadcasts 24/7 365 days a year and going strong, Chance Runnels and his aide John “The head case” Jones with the help of the Thunderbirds and John’s low body sugar were able to defeat the gender confused ‘Hood’ and save the day. After being left in the wilderness and wandering around trying to stay alive for two whole days Chance remembered he had a mobile phone and was able to call a Taxi. Now with his Triple Crown Championship bout on the doorstep and having much sympathy animal sex with his girlfriend Amy, Chance has finally got round to do some training. Or so we thought.] [The scene opens up to a Manchester gym, you can tell this because of the over decorate walls with Manchester United football posters etc. Out hero Chance Runnels is wearing some Thai Boxer shorts and is apparently going nuts shouting and balling hitting the occasional person. The norm really] Chance: What the hell do you mean training? John: You need to train for the biggest match of your career, Chance your good but your not that good! Chance: Don’t you think after all you’ve put me through this last week would be exercise enough! John: No. Chance: Figure John: So here’s what I want you to do Chance: Hang on a second, If you want me to train that badly then you got to do something for me first? John: I better not include sucking grass, having my ass dry grinded or being friends with Amy. Chance: Damn, how about John: Or taping your cartoons, OR GOING TO THE COMIC BOOK SHOP FOR THE LATEST ISSUE OF THE BENO!!! Chance: Shit then how about. John: Or making you a sandwich Chance: Damn it, can you read my mind or something? John: Yes. Chance: Cool! Tell you what if you do one of my training sessions, then I’ll train from this second onwards until my match is over. How does that sound sonny boy? John: didn’t see that coming. Chance: Answer the bloody question! John: What will this training session entail? Chance: Nothing too difficult as you are quite fat, bit of character building that’s all. John: Agreed, lets get this over with shall we? Chance: Great. [ The two friends start to walk out the gym as Chance rubs his hands menacingly] John: So after being TALKED AT (did I make that clear enough? I think I did.) Seems you pissed Doorknob Dan and Ding-a-ling Destiny (Two of the most childish and lame nick names I could think up). Chance: I know great isn’t it? John: Sure is, some people are real easy to piss off. Chance: It’s a shame, would have been more fun if they were a little harder to rattle I suppose, but you have to work with what you’re given or so the saying goes. John: To think that dick Danny thought you hadn’t even won a match before. Chance: Yeah, ass, way I work it out including the time I beat his ass last week (let me say that again) beat his ass last week. That makes about three out of five, not bad really. Seen as how I was like the new guy and all. (This by the way is intentionally petty and just bad sportsmanship, but Chance is cocky and me the narrator doesn’t really give two shits anyway.) John: Yeah about that, oh and If you include when you beat him for his title this week that makes four out of six. That’s even better. Chance: You can count? John: I can? Chance: Forget it, lets just get you ready for training shall we? [The camera fade out to black voices can still be herd] John: Before we get started can you do one thing for me? Chance: What’s that? John: There’s a spider in my changing room. Chance: You’ve got to be kidding. John: It’s a big spider! Chance: We’ve got a long way to go a long, long way. [Chance hits John with the sound recording equipment and obviously breaks it, even though you cant see it. Use you imagination people.]