Posted by Heidi on July 11, 2004, 1:28 am

During all the confusion during the end of the 12 person tag match at Absolute Power, most of the attention was on Jeffy Andrews, Kurt Richards and Angelina Bishop. Heidi, after having scored the winning pinfall for Team CAL after Kai Scott lay down for her, hung off Jeffy Andrew’s arm, looking more like the decorative valet she’d been 4 years ago in the LBWF than the former CAL World Champion, the wrestler with the longest unbroken win streak in IWA, the most prestigious IWA Champion of all time. Possibly Katie and Leia Turner watched Heidi while the executives were running their mouths. And what they may have noticed, is that Heidi, despite smiling a ‘Velociraptor’ smile, was unable to meet the eyes of anyone involved. Heidi is, when you get right down to it, a girl. Attempting to present herself as a wrestler primarily, and a girl only secondarily, a lot of people don’t even throw her into the mix when talking about the women of the CAL. Frankly, Heidi’s proven herself above that level, repeatedly. And she has made exceptional effort to refrain from ‘girly’ behavior of any kind in the ring. Losing the level of resolve and the aura of, not quite indifference, but of being grounded in reality, only twice. Once at Myths And Legends 2002, when Jeffy Andrews turned out to be alive after 10 months of being presumed dead, and once when she won the CAL World Title and burst into tears over it. This is what is behind the Velociraptor smile. Too many conflicting emotions too many different feelings. Triumph, disappointment, anger, bitterness, even self hatred for resorting to this how do you go forward with that? How do you prevent yourself from destroying what you’ve built for the last two years in a hasty decision? Well, she’s made the same decision once. Attacked Adam Delicious needlessly in her persuit of the IWA Heavyweight Title. But in that case, Heidi was, to use the insider term, ‘insanely over’. She ‘turned heel’, and nobody gave a damn. They just cheered her anyway. That probably won’t be the case this time. Jeffy Andrews is great at getting under people’s skin. Kai Scott is the most universally hated man in pro wrestling – any arena he steps into, he’ll get booed out of minutes later. Ronnie Long has that damnable cult following, but regardless of what a nice guy he is outside the ring, he’s perfectly adapted to playing the psychotic destructive lunatic. You are judged by the company you keep, right? So that’s why Heidi can’t smile normally. There are so many things that anger her. So many things that tear her apart inside, that she can’t deal with. She can’t smile when half the fans decide they’d rather see Flare than her at Reindeer Games 3. But when she punishes those fans by turning on them, she punishes hers as well. Fans mean something to her. And that’s why she can’t smile properly now, either. Things are balanced so evenly that she’s back where she started with the scales almost balanced evenly, and the other side looking greener already. Only this time she has a slight advantage. But that might not last what happens if Jeffy and Angelina Bishop dispute over power? And if Jeffy somehow loses control of the IWA, and his influence in CAL politics? Worse off than ever. No power, and no support. Then, why, did she do this? No, it wasn’t a letter from her admirer. There’s been a happening, shall we say. But we’ll come back to that later. Also, if possible, it was more disturbing than the letters. She was in Ireland at the time, preparing for a match against Freddy Phoenix. It was early May of 2004, a cold misty Monday night. She locked herself out of her motel room by accident, and it was 3 am, all the offices closed and her without any way back in. And without keys to her rented car, those being in the motel room as well. So she lay on the hood of the car. And she met Dionoco Castellanos. The outskirts of Belfast, N. Ireland. 5/03/2004 (Brief OOC note – I thought I’d make this clear, since there’s been a debate about the on/off camera rule. The following took place off camera, and Heidi has never told anyone that it has happened. Therefore, you don’t know about it. So don’t smacktalk like you do.) The stars glared above her head, pulsing blue and red. The mist around her pulsed yellow. Her heart pounded all the way up into her throat, and she stared in disbelieving horror at the man in front of her. Dionoco Castellanos was an intimidating figure. Slender yet tall, his hair was black and wild. He wore black pants and a black tank top despite the chill. His arms adorned with tattoos all the way to the shoulders. His eyebrows were heavy and slanted together, and despite standing in the light, they managed to throw his face into shadow. Just like they had one glorious and yet terrible wrestling event, her eyes rolled back into her head. Left to her own devices, she would have fainted. But before she could do that, he quickly stepped forward and took her, gently but firmly, by the wrist. “The ship of gold takes on holy water and begins to sink. In the distance, a ship of slaves looks to add to its blessed cargo. Will you toss aside your anchor and board?” His voice is unearthly. There’s no other way to describe it. Even, soft toned and resounding, heavily accented and yet more coherent and understandable than is natural. His lips move, soft and steady as falling snow, and the light shadowing his eyes does not waver. By focusing, she can make out a vague glimmer behind the darkness. “You know me, I see ” She closed her eyes and nodded. “This is good, then. My name is Dionoco Castellanos. And I have been watching you for a long time. You, Renee, have friends in, shall we say, high places.” High places. “You’re real?” “Reality is what we perceive, Renee. Reality is not absolute, but malleable. Reality can be compressed, folded, even destroyed by those who desire strongly enough. An infinitude of possibilities, stemming from an infinitude of minute decisions. Decisions we are often not even aware that we are making. It is your decision, and yours only, whether I am ‘real’, or not.” “What’re you talking about, you ” The stars are still pulsing above her head, and she feels like she’s going to vomit. And being called by a name she hasn’t been called in nearly two decades isn’t helping that feeling in the slightest. “The decision to change. The decision to tear down the walls of reality and begin anew. The decision to destroy and rebuild, to step Above. Renee, will you came with me?” “My name, is Heidi.” Her heart in her throat, she stares into the shadows that should be his eyes. And at this, he smiles, ever so slightly. More a twitch in the corners of his lips, one that she might have mistaken for a tic. “If you wish your name to be Heidi, than it shall be Heidi. You are who you decide to be. An identity can be changed with but a thought.” “So if we go anywhere together, that is my decision?” Dionoco nods gravely, releasing her wrist and clasping his own left wrist with his right hand. “Yes.” “Is it an important decision?” “The rest of your life depends upon it.” Another grave nod, and this time, she’s not entirely sure whether he smiled or if it was a trick of the lights. Heidi thinks. She does not trust Dionoco Castellanos. She does not trust her own senses right now – she half expects to wake up in a cold sweat at any second, and half wonders if she’s hallucinating from gaseous emissions from the heater in her motel room, dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. But she’s got nothing else to do. And she need not commit to anything. Only to follow him. And so she nods. And says “I will go with you.” This time, he definitely smiles. “I am both delighted and honored. Follow me, Heidi. We’ll be there in no time at all. Dionoco turns his back. Without waiting to see if she follows, he walks past the floodlights and disappears into the mist. Taking a deep breath, as if plunging into water, Heidi follows him. “Where are we going?” “A place where time has no meaning, and you have all the time in the world to decide how you wish to live.”