Posted by Alternative 2.0 on July 11, 2004, 2:54 am

Kay can bench press more than Brad Andrews. He’s ashamed. Brad Andrews has always *liked* playing mind games with people. But he’s never really been very good at it. His mind games usually devolve into hitting people with yield signs repeatedly, or trying to break their necks with the Undertow. The Undertow being a reverse full nelson that dropped people directly on their face, bending their necks backwards and more or less risking a life threatening injury on the person it was delivered to every time he uses it. But now his mind games aren’t directed outwards. They’re directed inwards. Because he’s trying to deal with Miah DeVan’s new attitude problems. So many despicable problems. Desires for respect and other useless bullshit like that. “Brad, my man, you are staring into space. What, is up?” This gym that Brad Andrews, Jonny Bravo and Kay are in, is an average gym. It’s not a Bally’s chain gym. It’s got gray carpeting, various machines in good condition, and a joint wrestling/boxing ring in one corner, along with an area for running wind sprints and a few punching bags. It doesn’t even have overhead music speakers. Which is just fine, because most of the people in it are more interested in exercising than in rocking out. “Pisses me off, Jon. Everything I’ve worked for. Everything I’ve busted my ass for, and Miah’s about to get rid of it all for me.” Brad Andrews is, among other things, an unbearable hypocrite. For all his talk about respect for the business, and respect for the game, he’s never really had much. His success comes from knowing where to throw his chips, and how to ride momentum. And the worst part about it is, it’s been proven repeatedly that he has a world of talent. But he won’t even go to the gym to train regularly, and that’s why a 5 ft 2 woman can bench press more than he can. Brad’s hair is died neon yellow today, and he looks more or less normal in the eyes. Jonny Bravo looks precisely like himself: tiger striped pants, blue mesh muscle shirt, flat topped hair and SMOOVE SHADES. And Kay, like she was last time, is wearing a 2 piece neon workout suit with the word “Fabe” printed in black block letters across the top for some inscrutable reason. She’s currently doing a set on the bench press with Jonny spotting. Brad prefers to sit in a chair and look angry at the world. “Jon, man, I just don’t get it. Why does Miah do this to ME? Why does he do it to me NOW? I’m the SeX VIP. I didn’t flake like CCK or Llew. I have more personality than Vincent or McCracken. I made my reputation in the CAL, not in some other fed like Brimstone. I’m more trustworthy than Kai Scott. And I’m the CAL World Tag Team Champions. So far as I can see, I’m the damn leader of SeX. And now he’s going to try and mess that up for me? Dammit, Jon, he’s your brother, but I’m about to kill him.” Jonny Bravo shrugs. See, for a long time, it looked like Miah was just a dumbass kid who cared only about porn. Then he started showing that there was more to him than that. Probably there’s more to Jonny Bravo than shouting booya and looking like a complete ass. Anyway, it’s not like he wants to get too involved in this. “Brad, you should just let Miah do his thing. The real greats in this business. You know, people like Carnage, Light, Heidi they know how to adapt. I know that the thing you and Miah have been doing has worked well. But it shouldn’t be the only thing that works.” “Wrong, Jonny. It’s like e equals m c squared. It’s a formula. You fuck with it, you’re wrong. I’m not going to let Miah fuck around.” Kay sits up. As mentioned, she’s had the decency to surgically remove the worst of the side effects that happen to women who decide to become muscle chicks. Therefore, her face would be good looking if it weren’t so obviously artificial, and her bustline is equally artificial, but at least it’s large. And she whispers something in Brad’s ear. Brad stands there. His eyes widen. “You mean, make my own gameplan? And use Miah?” Kay whispers again. “Let Miah take the lead? Let him be the one the opponents adjust to, and then myself act as the one to wipe them out when they’re not looking?” She whispers again. “Yeah, I could do that. I could let Miah try to wrestle Slava. Slava will get used to being able to throw him around. I’ll blind tag and bust out one of those new moves I’ve been working on learning. Maybe I’ll hit the Ole Kick. Or the uh um crap. Well, whatever that other move was that I learned.” Again, Kay whispers into his ear. “Oh yeah. Shining Wizard. I bet I could decapitate Josh with that. Though I’m thinking bout bringing back the soccer kick. Jon, Kay, what do you think?” Jonny Bravo flashes a quick thumbs up. He’s now taking his turn on the bench, and as goofy as he looks, he’s a pretty strong guy. Kay also gives a thumbs up, and as usual, says nothing out loud. “This will definitely work. If Miah wants to play his own game, I’ll just play along with him. It should be enough to keep the titles with us this week. But in case we end up in trouble, I want a contingency plan. You know how much it sucks not having contingency plan. Now Kay. You wrestle, right?” Kay nods. “How about this. I don’t want everyone to know you’re down with us yet. You’ll be our ace up the sleeve. I’m going to get you a license as our ‘official personal trainer’, and you can use that to get yourself a VIP seat for IWA Shockwave. And then, if and or when the situation commands ” “She does the run in. And hits the Red Axis. With a chair! Oh yeah!” Jonny is done bench pressing. He flexes in the mirror for his own benefit. “So Miah is no longer an issue, and I think we all know what time it is now.” “Smacktalk. OH YEAH!” Brad smiles. “Yes, indeed. Smacktalk.”