Posted by Jeff on 8/17/2004, 12:51 am, in reply to "Re: The match itself: Hardcore Ted vs Cardboard Adam Young!!!" Freddy Phoenix walks into the jobber locker room. D-Quick and Rialto are talking about some gay shit and drinking Pepsi. Freddy: Hey guys, Im lookin for a tag partner. You know, Adam Young is shit and vanished... D-Quick: Yo, I isnt goin out there! Those peeps aint fly enough for me! Freddy: Uh, how bout you? Didnt you used to be a tag champ? Rialto: Hey, if I quit in the middle of a big heel push, why would I come back now? Freddy: Ah for god sake. Freddy walks outside into the hallway and finds two little wankers, one named Tyler and one named Steve, standing there. Tyler is staring at fake nude pics of Britney Spears, Steve is staring at Tyler. Freddy: Either of you two wanna tag up with me? Its a title shot. Tyler: Oh, Britney. Your plastic is soooo round... Freddy: Sick ####ers. Im never gonna find a decent tag partner... hey... that gives me an idea! GTV GTV GTV GTV GTV JR: Hmm... I wonder what Freddy Phoenix is up to. Anyway... Electric Head Part 2 blasts out and the crowd pops even bigger. Kai Scott dances out of the back, Jeffy Andrews follows him. Jeffy slides into the ring and waves his belt around. He then slides back out and goes over to the announce table. JR: Jeffy Andrews... Jeffy: Beat it, JR. Kai: Yeah, beat it. JR goes and sits down near the timekeepers area. Jeffy and Kai Scott take headphones. Kai: So, what match we calling today? Jeffy: Another dumbass match. The overpushed dude and that guy he tags with vs some other dudes. Kai: Oh. Any names? Jeffy: Hotshit, Hogshit, Coldshit, Overpushed piece of shit... Kai: Never mind, Jeff Man. Never mind Dig by Mudvayne hits and Magik walks out followed by Mayhem. The fans boo them as the two men walk down to the ring. Mayhem is complaining about being held back even though hes getting a tag title shot, Magik is literally doing nothing. Dragula by Rob Zombie hits, and Hotshot Brandon Pride and Titan walk out to a huge pop. The two men walk down to the ring. Hotshot slides in under the bottom rope, Titan climbs over the top. Walking On The Sun by Smash Mouth hits. The crowd boos Freddy, but they are wondering who his partner is. Freddy appears... hes carrying a cardboard cutout of Adam Young! The crowd laughs. Freddy places the cutout on the apron and slides into the ring. Kai: This should be as good as a Hardcore Ted jobber squash. Jeffy: No, Hotshit being out there kinda ruins it. Kai: If you hate Hotshot so much, why dont you go kick his ass? Jeffy: I aint goin over there. He can bring his overpushed ass over here. In the ring, Freddy Phoenix, Magik and Hotshot are starting off. They go into a three way tie up. Freddy and Magik both kick Hotshot in the gut. They double whip him across the ring and hit a hip toss, then a double elbow drop. Hotshot is up slowly, Magik picks him up and hits a stalling vertical suplex, Freddy hits a running splash. Kai: Hotshots taking a beating early on. Jeffy: (shouting) Yeah, kick his rookie ass! Magik tries another suplex, but Hotshot slips behind him and hits a bulldog. He gets up in time to catch a cross body block from Freddy Phoenix. Titan runs Magik over with a big boot. He then picks Magik up for a press slam and throws him onto Mayhem! Both men fall off the apron! Titan tags out to Hotshot, who follows up with a plancha on the two men on the outside! Hotshot throws Mayhem into the ringpost and Magik back into the ring. Titan sets up a powerbomb, but Magik reverses with a back drop. He pulls Titan up and hits a short arm clothesline. Magik looks for the tag, but Mayhem hasnt gotten back up yet. Freddy dropkicks Magik in the back and tags in Cardboard Adam Young! Kai: Let the slating commence! Adam stays standing on the apron. Magik tags in Mayhem. Titan backs off to watch this. Mayhem walks over and tries to suplex the cutout in, but instead falls down with the cutout on top of him! The ref starts counting! 1.....2..... Mayhem barely kicks out. He stands up and puts the cutout in a headlock. The cutouts head bends and Mayhem loses control of it. After getting himself together, Mayhem puts the cutout in an armbar. The ref checks for the tap out, but the cutouts legs are under the ropes and Mayhem has to break the hold. Mayhem says hes setting up the Mayhemizer! Kai: Hold on. Is that really what Mayhems finisher is? Jeffy: No one knows. Mayhem wont even tell me, the bio master, what the damn move is called. Kai: Oh well, its not like hed ever hit it on anyone that matters. Jeffy: Well, its probably a lame move anyway... lets call it the Beginning Of The End! Kai: Yeah! Mayhem hits the cutout with the Beginning Of The End! He goes for the cover! 1... Mayhem falls off the slippery cardboard. Titans had enough of this, he kicks Mayhem out of the way and throws the cutout over to Freddy, who tags himself in. Mayhem tags Magik back in. Kai: Well, you gotta think that Violence Inc has an advantage here. Theyre the only team with two non-shit members. Jeffy: Freaking hell... I am gonna kick Hotshots ass. Kai: When? Jeffy: Later. If I feel like it. Titan runs towards Freddy, Freddy ducks and dropkicks Titan in the back of his head, staggering the big man. Titan goes forward into the turnbuckle and staggers backwards, Freddy hits him with a back suplex. Freddy off the ropes, twisting splash! He pulls Titan up and goes for a DDT, but Titan uses his strength to reverse it into a back drop variation. Freddy lands on his feet though, he runs off the ropes and comes at Titan with a cross body... Titan catches him in mid air! Titan slams Freddy to the mat, turns around and gets nailed with a spin kick from Magik! Magik picks up Titan and hits him with a nice suplex. He holds Titan and tells Freddy to go to the top rope! Freddy climbs up... he looks from Titan to Magik... missile dropkick on Magik! Freddy quickly goes for the cover! 1.......2.......2.5....... no, Magik kicks out! Kai: Freddy kicks ass. Jeffy: Yeah. He reminds me of me. Titan is up, he grabs Freddy and hits him with a massive powerbomb. He then tags in Hotshot. Hotshot heads to the top rope and comes off with a moonsault... no! Magik gets his knees up, Hotshot is holding his ribs in pain. Freddy picks him up and hits a rib breaker. He then hits a few elbow drops to Hotshots ribs. Magik pulls Hotshot up and places him in an abdominal stretch. Hotshot wont give, Magik begins to pound on his ribs. Freddy breaks it up and hits Magik with a spinning DDT. Hotshot tags out to Titan, Titan grabs Freddy and hits him with a brutal chokeslam! Kai: Freddys putting a solid effort in, but hes fighting a handicap match out there. Jeffy: Yeah, and Violence Prick is probly gonna win. Screw this, Im going back to the locker room. The Jeff Man has left the announce table! Kai: Freaking hell... As Jeffy passes by the ring, he reaches out and knocks Hotshot off the apron. Hotshot stands up and throws a chair at Jeffy, a bunch of refs prevent them from fighting. Titan whips Magik across the ring, he hits him with a press slam and then spikes him to the mat. He waits on him, and then takes Magiks head off with a running clothesline. Titan says the hell with this, and forces Mayhem to tag in! Mayhem doesnt want into the ring, Titan throws him into the corner and hits some stiff chops to the chest. Kai: Thatll teach the jackass to reject AIM chat invites. Freddy goes off the ropes setting up some move, but Magik pulls him out of the ring. Magik and Freddy begin to exchange punches. Titan hits Mayhem with the Titan Drop! He tags in Hotshot, Hotshot hits Mayhem with the Top Rope Fame-Asser! Both men cover! 1.......2......3!!! Here are your winners, and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Hotshot Brandon Pride and Titan! Kai: Well, I guess they deserve to be the champs, but that was one hell of an effort from Freddy Phoenix too. Magik should have RPd, hed have done better, and, well, Mayhem is complete shit. Im outta here.
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