Posted by Jacky on 9/18/2006, 11:29 am, in reply to "How Can This Be?" I'm sorry to say you can't do that. That is the hand she has been dealt. The question you need to ask yourself is 'how can I share this journey with her to ease some of those fears'. (cuz it's really fear probably, more than pain, that she's experiencing right now - the fear at first is ovewhelming) And the answer to that question, in a basic, cliched, nutshell is you need to meet her where she is. That means hold her, tell her you are sorry that she's going through this, tell her you love her. You can't predict the future, so try really hard not to tell her she's gonna beat this - a difficult challenge I know - but you can tell her you'll be with her no matter what comes. She probably feels like she's completely untethered from the universe, just floating around, right now. You can float along after her to try to help ground her in the reality that although she feels alone, she's not alone. There's you, and friends and family, medical caregivers, and there's survivors. Lots and lots of survivors. You can't find the right words of comfort because she can't, right now, be comforted. She needs to walk through this incredible grief and she basically needs to do it alone. It is a comfort to her to know that you intend to be there on the other side, but you can't fix this right now - you can only be steadfast, kind, and compassionate. It's freaking HARD to be a caregiver Rick, but you sound like the sort who can do it. There is a pattern to this fear which she may follow (or not). Without giving you too much information because you don't need it, let me reassure you (and her if you care to pass it along) that this overwhelming darkness will pass in a while.
70.72.17.164
It's such a shock and so startling, and everyone's first thought is 'how can I take the pain away'.
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