Posted by Caroline on 9/20/2006, 5:28 am, in reply to "Re: How Can This Be?" About the incisions - I think this is a great idea. We did exactly the same thing. We looked at the incisions together for the first time and it made things easier for me because then I wasn't trying to hide my scared body from him. I'm not sure if you are married or not but when I was diagnosed we were living together and had talked about having children soon. We weren't married and all along through my treatments I thought that my boyfriend would never want to marry me. I suppose I was so very insecure I wished and wished he would propose to me to make me feel secure in our relationship and to know he would always be there. Now I am glad that he waited until about a year after treatment to propose because then we had got through all the surgeries, chemo etc but I just want you to know how I felt at the time. I am not saying get married and certainly don't get married out of sympathy. I don't know the details of your relationship but I just want you to know that these feelings were rushing through my head constantly. I also spoke to someone who was recently diagnosed and she got married within 4 days of diagnosis! The reason for me telling you this is that it may help you to be aware of just how insecure we can get at this time. The best thing you can do is just talk about what the future might hold for you and reassure your love that you will always be there. And look after yourself! Remember she loves you too and she will be worrying about you so you do need time out and time for you as well.
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Rick - you are doing and saying all the right things. I was living with my boyfriend (now husband) when I was going through treatment and I was terrified that he would leave me. Also, because I loved him so much, I wanted him to have a better future. One without health problems, the fear of death, perhaps without children and so on. So I really did test him and you may definitely experience this aswell so it is wise to be prepared.
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