Posted by Rick on 9/21/2006, 2:52 am, in reply to "How Can This Be?" The mastectomies are done and she is doing OK. We are still waiting for the pathology reports to tell us what stage she is diagnosed at. She is a real inspiration to me. Her courage through this is amazing and I tell her that every day. Even though she is still in the hospital I am there whenever I can be. Today I looked up at her as she read a card. She looked so cute sitting there with her little grin on her face. I told her how pretty she is and she just lit up. I have spent the past day tenderly kissing and caressing hands, arms, shoulders, and back. I am loving it and judging by the serene smile on her face I know I am making her feel loved and beautiful. (yes I realize that the narcotics are more likely the cause of her serenity) I'm sure there are those who read this and think "how could anyone kiss and caress so soon after surgery, she's probably just tolerating it." I don't think so. At times when she can't sleep or just needs my touch I am holding her hand and she is holding mine. It is very easy to gently touch someone and convey a deep love. Every touch is gentle and soft, my intent being to show her how much I love her and am attracted to her. It is the way she welcomes my touch that is sexy and special, not her body itself. I have not seen the incisions yet but she has not either. I told her I would like us to look at them together if she is willing to allow me to go there. I asked her to think about it and let me know if it would be OK. I know I can handle seeing her incisions without it changing my feelings for her, other than empathy for what she has had to endure. I am fearful that if she views the incisions first she may feel they are something I don't want to see and hide herself from me. I would never want that. There are so many beautiful curves to the female form that I could not stand the thought of missing back, shoulders, belly......etc. I understand most women allow their partner to see the incisions within 2-3 days. I hope she is comfortable with that but I continue to stress that it is her decision and do not pressure her for an answer. It is getting late and I'd better get to bed. I would like to sincerely thank all those who have posted and encouraged me over the past week. I would encourage everyone reading this site to post a message if you have direct experience with breast cancer. Try it. It will help you and the others who read it.
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Thanks to all of you who have posted and provided encouragement and kind words over the past week. Conversing with others, even by email has helped me get through this week.
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