Posted by kirsten in NY on 10/2/2006, 9:07 pm, in reply to "Told the kids...now what?" The best people to answer this is people who have walked in those shoes. On these boards, it's Jeff- who is on hiatus and Phil. Phil has 5 kids that he's raising on his own, thanks to cancer. I can't even imagine for one second the pain these guys have been thru. It's not fair. You don't need to hear my rants on living with cancer...not now. Cry with your children. They need to see your grief - they need to know that they aren't alone. They need to see your vulerable side. I liked Jeff's idea of having Katie draw pictures. My doing this, he could see into her head (for instance the emotions on the faces of people she was drawing). I'm not too much of an advocate for counseling, although I know it has helped a great deal of people. You have to keep it together for the kids- as a family, I mean. They are going to be reaching and grasping for anything they can that they know won't be taken away from them like their mom was. It may take them a while to trust people again- You know and I know it's not your wife's fault. It's nobody's fault, but they are little kids and they don't understand alot of what we know. I wish I could blink and make it all go away ... The best thing is probably to ask your hospice people for advice. They've been there and done that countless times. Don't be afraid to take the help people are offering you- Kirsten
24.52.51.22
Dan;
I'm trying to put myself in your place and tell you what you need to hear...it's hard. They say that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle, but how in the world is one supposed to handle this? I've been asking myself that for 5 years and still haven't found the answer. I've found my faith waivering at times and have raised questions that I know I shouldn't be asking. You know your children better than anyone else. You know what they can handle and what they can't. There are valid arguements either way on how much to involve them.
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