Posted by phil s-r+5 on 10/2/2006, 9:18 pm, in reply to "Told the kids...now what?" Take care I will be here phil s-r+5
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Dan:
Life is rocking your world to a level you never ever dreamed of.
Dan you will be ok. Yes taking care of the children was what your wife did mostly but not you are going to be handed that roll with no prep.
Call in family if you can. Make sure what when your wife goes to hospice that the kids and you go all together. Make sure the kids are part of this journey.
Have you and your wife talked about her wishes?? If not do so. My wife was cremated because the cancer destroyed her. We did have a viewing which was a mistake but we survived it. But to today I still cannot believe that body was my wife's.
Dan get your wife to tell you what she want done with her stuff, any special pieces that she wants the kids to have.
Take pictures of her and the kids now as much as you can. They don't see anything but their mommy.
Have then write letters to her draw pictures.
If you can get the book "The Next Place" by Warren Hanson. It will bring tears to your eys. for you the book " I am Grieving as Fast as I Can " is good.
But for now ask you wife her wishes, right them down for her or tape them.
Dan I wrote my email and # in my reply to your 1st posting.
The kids believe it or not will be ok they may be angery or sad BUT they will take their ques form you.
If your wife is going fast get family help arranged for after. Have someone come to help you for the weeks following if you can.
call on church, work or friends to help with yard care, bills and house stuff.
Dan ask for help things will go very very quickly as things end. With the liver involved your wife may bloot and build up and probably turn jaundiced. MY Lori did. Be calm be with her 24/7 and the kids too OUr hospice had a family room and we stayed up there for the last..
Get her will and needs written down.
Dan contact me or send my your info.
I have been where you are going and it is going to get alot worse. But you will be able to do it. It is going to be hard and the pain is like nothing you ever dreamed of. You will cry like never before.
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