Posted by Thomas on 6/4/2007, 1:05 pm I am trying my best to keep up hope and faith that things will heal, things will turn out "negative" or "chronic" or simply "doable"... and not the worst. However, my thoughts and dreams are injected almost randomly with sincere fears that when that time comes (hopefully after our 50th wedding anniversary!) something will keep me from being with her. Either I won't be there because of, I don't know, a broken down car or her ex-husband will bring their children to visit and say "It's either the kids or Tom visiting her, not both." (Because he does not like me. I pray he will be blessed with the sense to realize that nobody should do things like that, but he has done them before in other (much less important) aspects of life.) That I would have to "fight" to have someone at the hospital let me see my wife, or to let the kids be in the room with me and her because her ex is complaining... etc. I feel like I'm rambling, but I really just needed to write that down. I've spoken to Erin about it, and she's almost laughed which is her perfect way of saying "do not worry about it." And I know I don't need to, but so... thoughts like that seem to pop up throughout the days and I wonder if anyone else has any advice. Too much caffeine, lack of quality sleep (I had the fire dept pager off last night... that was *such* a great night of sleep!), and other things maybe help the body "generate" anxiety like that? Heck, I work at a very large hospital and I know there are people here, an entire cancer center, to go to with these questions... from employee assistance, to the priests here, to just volunteers that are here to listen. But you guys are always great at writing up such helpful replies as well...
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Does anyone have any advice on easing anxiety that comes with all of this? I feel like a "sponge" sometimes in asking so many questions / making so many posts here... but all of the visitors here are so wonderful.
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