Posted by Diane C.-TX on 6/4/2007, 3:13 pm, in reply to "Advice on easing anxiety" I know that the man of the house always prides himself on being able to "fix" things around the house. And it must be very frustrating when you feel like you are unable to "fix" the person you love. That's where attending a support group can be very beneficial to you. This would be a good opportunity for you to meet with a social worker or other partners of women with breast cancer and share your feelings and anxieties openly about the threats to your wife's. They will be able to help you with these feelings and offer you some reassurance. Advanced breast cancer is an issue that seems to be rarely addressed by organizations devoted to breast cancer patients. I personally believe that this is a mistake and a problem that needs to be addressed by the healthcare community. There are many Stage IV gals who are on and off treatments continuously, who are still able to lead a fullfilling and productive life and once again, you will find much comfort in talking to other couples and learning how they dealt with their fears and anxiety. I will keep you and Erin in my daily prayers. Love, Di
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There is a great deal of NORMAL anxiety and depression that surrounds a diagnosis of breast cancer. The anxiety and/or depression that is worrisome is the kind that interferes with your daily life. You seem to have a lot of pent-up feelings inside which may be contributing to your sleepless nights. If this continues for a long time, it may be wise to speak to a physician about it to see what can be done to help deal with this. It's important to keep the lines of communication open between you, Erin and the children. Keeping secrets in order to protect certain family members will only become burdensome for Erin. It may even contribute to more stress and lack of trust with the children (they will get their cues on how to react by how the two of you handle this). It is helpful to maintain an open dialogue that allows everybody to share their true feelings. You sound very down at the moment, Thomas. I would suggest that you try to engage in activities that helped you relieve stress and anxiety in other life issues (not concerning Erin's BC). This could include getting together with friends, or playing sports, for example. If the usual coping mechanisms in the past are not working for you right now, I urge you to seek professional help, speak to Erin's medical team to see what they have to suggest and/or attend a BC support group for spouses. Erin has a lot to contend with at the moment and it would be unfair for her to have to be the family cheerleader.
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