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I'm so sorry to hear it, it's tough, indeed.
You may be able to get some FMLA leave to at least come home for a bit, hug her, and then know you'll have a job ready in a few weeks when you go back to Iraq.
Be her rock, and just listen to her. Then, talk about stuff not related to cancer ... it'll keep your mind off it, and hers too. That's been important for my wife and I.