Posted by Steven Benjamin (Billy Steven Crider) on May 2, 2008, 8:38 pm
Well, The Sun has set here about 30-45 minutes ago. Some of you are still racing daylight.
Me...I am exhausted, just trying to catch my breath. These last few months have been very trying.
After leaving school, actually work today...I had to go to the bank and get some errands run. I work for the school as a lab tech as well on work study. Today, some of the students are trying to get last minute adjustments and completions to final projects. I tend to stay a little later in such cases to accomadate them. Today was no different.
I found my errands rushed and As I went to perform them, I amost forsook some of them to get my chores done before sunset. Errands are spontaneous or happen less than weekly, chores...they to me are weekly. I started cleaning my house on Wednesday, and more extensively last night, but still had much to do. I didn't think it would get done. And to confess, all of it didn't. But I was amazed at what did. All but the laundry. As I rushed home, I focused on my animals...my flock if you will. I had to feed the dogs, Roxanne and Train Wreck, and of course my iguana, Shaggy. I likewise had to prepare food to cover me till tommorrow at sunset, vaccuum, wash dishes, carry out the trash and take a shower all in about 40 minutes. Oh, yeah, and the laundry. I can't believe I actually got it all done...all but the laundry. I guess by confessing here, I am airing my dirty laundry.
While I am here, I ate a sandwich during passover, it was two days before I realized I ate leavened bread, at least there is the strong likelyhood of such. Someone mentioned certain provisions for those keeping such observances while travelling, but I will look more into it.
Passover is not just an observance for memorial, there are other issues. Perhaps you tried as well, at some point last year the same thing happened, I found after trying my very best that at some point I came to the realization that I had failed. Last year however was more in ignorance than this year.
Today, as I rushed along, God directed me not to forsake my errands, told me to perform them. Minutes ticked along, but I knew it was futile to argue, so I did as I was told. As I travelled from one place to the next, I was reminded in the Spirit of the contention we have with our own imperfections. At some point you do all you can do, and you still miss the mark, and God is sitting back waiting for that very moment, watching...waiting. In our struggle, sometimes we tend to treat God a little dismissively, when it him we claim to seek to please all along. But the truth of the matter is that we simply get caught up in the struggle. And even though we, fail, sometimes our very effort is so valiant, God is overwhelmingly pleased, and our failure stands as a memorial to our love for him.
"A just man falleth seven times and riseth up again..."
Proverbs
When that moment finally arrives, God is waiting there with mercy to tell us he loves us, and as we fail to reach the mark, we find ourselves...placed at the mark.
"He lifted me up out of the miry clay, set my feet upon a rock and established my goings..."
Psalms
On the one level Master Yoda said it best..."Do or do not...there is no try." And at times such logic is undenably true.
But there are times when the "doing" is simply the best you can. I am a blessed man, but God has chosen to bless me, it not because of any merit of my own. I can be pretty rotten, I am sure we all can. The only righteousness in me is that of God in me.
I do apologize, if I seem out of sorts.
I had a very, very disturbing encounter this last week. I am not at liberty to discuss the details. Please keep me in your prayers.
I urge you to "Watch And Pray"
On a lighter note...School is nearly over. Both my daughter and myself will Graduate at the same time, her high school, myself, college. We will both graduate with honors...that's kinda cool I think. Well, God Bless, and Happy Sabbath.
The Audio Sermon this week will not be posted until sometime tommorrow, perhaps during Sabbath, but certainly by the end of the evening.
On another note, it seems the neighbors stopped their music, which vibrates walls on adjacent houses, to listen after the first blast of the Shofar sounded tonight. That's kinda cool as well, on some level, only for a few moments...they thought about Sabbath.
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