Posted by dennis on October 23, 2009, 8:41:05, in reply to "My Daughter Is 10 Asked For A Cig"
70.20.109.234
welcome to the wonderful world of parenting ! first of all i'm totally impressed that your daughter has an open enuff and comfortable enuff relationship that she felt she could be open, honest and able to speak to you about smoking. that alone is rare. its good to see that you didn't spaz and belittle her curiosity. with my daughter, her personality was such that all you had to do is tell her she couldn't do something and it was garunteed she would do it. not that she was a bad girl, just a bit hard headed about most things....must have come from her mothers side of the family.
when the subject came up at my house, she was way too young in my oppinion. she was 8 when started to ask tons of questions and wanting to learn to smoke. i had a heart felt conversation withher on several occations telling her i didn't mind if whe wanted to smoke, but i did mind WHEN she started. i didn't wnat her to be uncomfortable in school or be a 2ppd smoker at such a young age. this did really help. it put off her starting for a few more years until several of her friends started. when it became appearant she wasn't going to wait any longer and start to do things behind my back we had 'the' conversation,put some limits on when and where she could smoke and set some limits on how many a day she could have so she didn't have too many problems with cravings. at least in my case everything worked out well.we stayed close and could talk easily about most anything. she obeyed the rules and was content that she was able to smoke openly at home.
you may want her to wait a while longer, of you may be comfortable letting her try one, or maybe lite yours for the occational puff,and that may be enuff to satisify her for now. in any event,talking to her and making sure she is capable of making an informed decision is where to start. i'm sure if you explain your concerns and she sees how much you love her and want he to feel like a young lady too, there will be room for some sort of arangement when you feel the time is rite. its important for her to know she doesn't have to do things behind your back.
i hope what ever you decide that you can continue to have such an open honest relationship thru her teen and adult years. so far i thnk you are doing a great job.
--Previous Message--
: Well when i was driving
: home from picking my
: daughter up from school
: and enjoying a nice cig
: my daughter came out of
: the blue and said can i
: have one now i said i
: would think about it but
: im really not sure what
: to do i smoke so if i
: dont let her then it
: will be wrong because i
: do too but should i let
: her smoke and what brand
: should she start with
:
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