Posted by DIANE E on 4/14/2008, 10:07 pm
76.116.229.X
Hi Everyone!!
Hope all of you are doing well. I have been trying to get through my Day One all over again for the past month and a half, since I fell off the wagon in early Feb. Every time I say I am going to start, I honestly,sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, have every intention of doing it, but I don't. I don't know why I continue to sabotage myself, but I do. I really want this, and I keep thinking "Oh I'll just eat this, and I'll start tomorrow"...well all of those tomorrows have come and gone in the form of years...and I am still here in this same position, fat! I feel like if I don't do this now, then WHEN? tomorrow? ha ha, because we all know what I will say to myself "tomorrow"...I'll just remind myself about the next tomorrow! I am so frustrated with myself. I would like to tell you that I am starting tomorrow and I am going to be fine....but I feel like I always come on here when I am about to start and I talk the talk....like "this is it"...or "I'm going to do it this time" and I fail...and when I fail...I don't want to come back on for awhile and I just sink deeper in this mess. I have been through alot in the past several months, with family, and some medical scares of my own (Thank God, they were only scares). Despite me being about 70 pounds overweight, I am pretty much in perfect health, but that doesn't mean that I feel healthy, because I am tired ALL the time. Well, sorry for going on and on, but I needed to vent. I AM starting again tomorrow, and I am going to pray for the discipline and will power to at least get me through ONE DAY!! Usually, in the past, once I get to the third day, it is not such a struggle for me.....so here I go AGAIN!!! Wish me luck.....!!
Have a good night 
Diane
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